So when you are overly sentimental and prone to being morbid you have crazy thoughts. Then when you believe something and your #1 Yelo trait is Belief and Communication is right up there, you feel the need to express things and be sure people know where you stand. So thus, this post.....
Back when Rob was sick I began a habit of developing a back up plan of sorts in case....well you know...in case he died. It has included going back to school and where would I live and now how would I raise my kids. When I have imagined these scenarios it has always been me and my family and how I would desperately depend on them to help me breathe again.
I don't have these thoughts near as often anymore and you would think that after 10 1/2 years of health I would get over it, but there are things that are hard to shake. So recently I was having a moment of morbidness and all of a sudden I realized that the scenario had changed. No longer did I feel alone and dependant on my family alone. I realized that my kids would have a community full of men who know what it means to be fathers to the fatherless. I would be surrounded by women who know how to encourage and who know how to wipe tears away. I realized that I would not be alone and my world would not end and that makes me feel incredibly proud and in love with our community.
People try to describe community but words can not do it justice. It's another of Father God's great mysteries. When you give yourself over to relationship with others and allow others to give in return, it is a rich and tangible experience of God's love for us and I am so thankful for you.
Amy, somehow I missed this post many moons ago. It says a lot that you are allowing yourself to trust us w/...well, the caring that you've been trying to multiply on your own for your whole family. Every time that we relinquish "control" of something in our lives, we take another step closer to Christ and the life that he wants us to live.
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