Peter tells Jesus that he will lay down his life for him. In reality, he'll deny his association with Jesus three times before the morning.
Then, Jesus is crucified.
Nicodemus shows up on the scene. The first time he ever met with Jesus, he was under the cover of night as a Pharisee. He didn't want the Jews to know about his encounter with Jesus. If you recall, they had a conversation about "being born again."
Now, Nicodemus appears in broad daylight, this time to encounter Jesus again. This time, Jesus is dead. Nicodemus is carrying seventy-five pounds of myrrh and aloes to follow proper Jewish burial laws in his care-taking of Jesus' body. He petitions Pilate to take and bury the body, and Pilate complies. Near the place where Jesus was crucified is a garden. In the garden, is a tomb.
Peter says he surrenders, but in reality he denies.
Nicodemus showed up secretly before, and now he's in full view of the public.
A little while ago, there was a conversation about being born again. Now the conversation is about helping bury a dead body.
There's a garden near the place where Jesus died, and a tomb in that garden.
Surrender and denial. Night and day. Life and death. Tombs and gardens.
I am like Peter. I claim that I love Jesus and that I'll lay down my life for him. I talk about how I believe in Jesus while I deny him through the prejudice in my heart towards people who annoy me. The contrast of surrender and denial threads its way through my core every moment of my existence. I claim that God is enough for me, until night comes and all I can think about is a pretty girl acting out sexually on a computer screen. I claim that I will lay down my life for Jesus while I try to run the show at work. Surrender and denial.
I am like Nicodemus. Under the cover of secrecy, I carry my doubts and beliefs, afraid of the kind of push back I may receive. I am a devout follower of Jesus in one crowd and a ritualized Pharisee in another; a seeker searching for truth in one circle and a know-it-all in another. Nicodemus comes out of the darkness and proclaims through his actions publicly that he's all in. He takes it to the highest authority at the time and petitions the king to take care of the body of the one who he didn't believe in before. Secrecy and boldness. Night and day.
I exist in the tension between a garden and a tomb. On a good day, I smell the flowers and hear the birds singing. On a bad day, my heart is a tomb, full of grief, self-pity and sadness. It looks for self-interest instead of the interest of my fellows. Jesus is buried in a tomb in a garden. Death and life. Darkness and light. Ugliness and beauty.
Tension exists in contrast. If there was no tension, there would be no need to search for truth.
Peter claims one thing and does the exact opposite. But, he later "follows Jesus." Through denial, he truly surrenders and finds what he's looking for.
Whenever darkness comes today, I can expect there to be light just around the corner. When I deny my associations and beliefs and Jesus, I can be assured that surrender will come. When I take a moment to explore the murky waters of my soul, I can believe that a garden is nearby.
Today's Action: Pay attention to the contrasts today (For ex: angry - tolerant, hurried - patient, depressed - joyful). Write them down. Reflect. Do we notice that with death (what we consider the "bad stuff") there is life (what we consider the "good stuff")?
No comments:
Post a Comment