So when you are overly sentimental and prone to being morbid you have crazy thoughts. Then when you believe something and your #1 Yelo trait is Belief and Communication is right up there, you feel the need to express things and be sure people know where you stand. So thus, this post.....
Back when Rob was sick I began a habit of developing a back up plan of sorts in case....well you know...in case he died. It has included going back to school and where would I live and now how would I raise my kids. When I have imagined these scenarios it has always been me and my family and how I would desperately depend on them to help me breathe again.
I don't have these thoughts near as often anymore and you would think that after 10 1/2 years of health I would get over it, but there are things that are hard to shake. So recently I was having a moment of morbidness and all of a sudden I realized that the scenario had changed. No longer did I feel alone and dependant on my family alone. I realized that my kids would have a community full of men who know what it means to be fathers to the fatherless. I would be surrounded by women who know how to encourage and who know how to wipe tears away. I realized that I would not be alone and my world would not end and that makes me feel incredibly proud and in love with our community.
People try to describe community but words can not do it justice. It's another of Father God's great mysteries. When you give yourself over to relationship with others and allow others to give in return, it is a rich and tangible experience of God's love for us and I am so thankful for you.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
A Thief In The Night Preview
I know this is not a serious post but I had to find this and share with you. For those who were not at MC on THursday I had mentioned that as a child there were times I worried that I missed the rapture. If you had watched these movies as a child you too might have been afraid! lol! If you are really interested there are a bunch more clips on YouTube, but I warn you the beheadin scenes are creepy!!!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Serve
Thinking back to Jeff's teaching this past Sunday on "Missional", he mentioned that doing Missional can be hard. Since I'm not allowed to raise my hand during the teaching, I'll ask it here...honestly, we have to each ask ourselves this if we truly want to call ourselves followers of Christ:
Why is doing Missional hard?
Be honest w/ yourself...
Why is doing Missional hard?
Be honest w/ yourself...
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thoughts in Jonah
I thought I would share with all of you my various journaled thoughts on Jonah:
Jonah went to distract himself from God. He wasn't going to Tarshish to sacrifice babies or rape and pillage the land, he was just going to do something other than what God wanted.
"Why have you done this?" Why would you run from the God who made the sea and the dry land? People talk of being rational and reasonable - what is more reasonable than doing the will of God? He made everything. He probably knows how to take care of it.
I want to know the awe that the sailors felt. Don't let me lose sight of Your Awesomeness through familiarity.
"Now the Lord had prepared a great fish." He was ready and waiting for Jonah. But He didn't speak to the fish until Jonah said his prayer. God gave the opportunity but waited for repentance to take action.
"They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy." - Jonah's proverb to himself in the midst of his prayer. When you think you can do your own thing because of how great you are, you are actively rejecting God.
We undervalue people. Plants and pets are cool because they do what we want them to, but people annoy and infuriate us. We notice the person that is putting himself in our way, ignore those that don't, and show special favor to those like us that want the same things as us. While I don't think we necessarily need to go out of our way to find people that irritate us, we do need to love. We need to love more than we do. Because God loves more than we do.
Jonah went to distract himself from God. He wasn't going to Tarshish to sacrifice babies or rape and pillage the land, he was just going to do something other than what God wanted.
"Why have you done this?" Why would you run from the God who made the sea and the dry land? People talk of being rational and reasonable - what is more reasonable than doing the will of God? He made everything. He probably knows how to take care of it.
I want to know the awe that the sailors felt. Don't let me lose sight of Your Awesomeness through familiarity.
"Now the Lord had prepared a great fish." He was ready and waiting for Jonah. But He didn't speak to the fish until Jonah said his prayer. God gave the opportunity but waited for repentance to take action.
"They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy." - Jonah's proverb to himself in the midst of his prayer. When you think you can do your own thing because of how great you are, you are actively rejecting God.
We undervalue people. Plants and pets are cool because they do what we want them to, but people annoy and infuriate us. We notice the person that is putting himself in our way, ignore those that don't, and show special favor to those like us that want the same things as us. While I don't think we necessarily need to go out of our way to find people that irritate us, we do need to love. We need to love more than we do. Because God loves more than we do.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Isaiah on Fasting
Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke;
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn....
I am meditating on this passage today.
This is what I think God is calling me to, our group to, the Church to...
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke;
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn....
I am meditating on this passage today.
This is what I think God is calling me to, our group to, the Church to...
Journal
Since I won't be at group tonight (2nd part of Varsity District Meet--will let y'all know about Regionals!), I figured I would post a little something on here to share with y'all. I left my journal at home and I'm writing at school (I know, not supposed to use time on the job for personal business, but who really follows that rule?).
When reading Jonah this week, I honestly only got through the first chapter or so until this morning while my cross country kiddos were running around the school, so I don't have a ton of interesting reflections, but a few things did cross my mind.
I am so much like Jonah, it scares/frustrates/embarrasses me."But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish." This sounds strikingly similar to the phrase in our corporate confessional of "We are running from Creation and our Creator." I know we should always have in mind what "big" thing God is calling us to do, but I think it's equally important to acknowledge daily (for me, many times during the day) when we don't obey God and what he calls us to do.
The funny thing is that, like Jonah, once I recognize my mistake and actually feel bad about not obeying God, I get down on myself and talk to God a bit like Jonah talked to the sailors on the boat. “Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.”
One really important part of the book, in my opinion, is the difference in the time it takes for Jonah to respond and obey God's direction versus the people of Nineveh. It seems when reading the story that as soon as Jonah deliveredthe message from God, "The Ninevites believed God. A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth."6 It says, "When Jonah’s warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust." Jonah literally had to have a team of others to force him to face what God was asking of him after literally running away from Him.
The application part of this book for me is to not just to hear God and acknowledge what he calls me to do and how he calls me to live, but also that I must not delay. Rather, I need to immediately turn from things that do not glorify Him and live how he is calling me to live.
~Sam
When reading Jonah this week, I honestly only got through the first chapter or so until this morning while my cross country kiddos were running around the school, so I don't have a ton of interesting reflections, but a few things did cross my mind.
I am so much like Jonah, it scares/frustrates/embarrasses me."But Jonah ran away from the Lord and headed for Tarshish." This sounds strikingly similar to the phrase in our corporate confessional of "We are running from Creation and our Creator." I know we should always have in mind what "big" thing God is calling us to do, but I think it's equally important to acknowledge daily (for me, many times during the day) when we don't obey God and what he calls us to do.
The funny thing is that, like Jonah, once I recognize my mistake and actually feel bad about not obeying God, I get down on myself and talk to God a bit like Jonah talked to the sailors on the boat. “Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.”
One really important part of the book, in my opinion, is the difference in the time it takes for Jonah to respond and obey God's direction versus the people of Nineveh. It seems when reading the story that as soon as Jonah deliveredthe message from God, "The Ninevites believed God. A fast was proclaimed, and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth."6 It says, "When Jonah’s warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust." Jonah literally had to have a team of others to force him to face what God was asking of him after literally running away from Him.
The application part of this book for me is to not just to hear God and acknowledge what he calls me to do and how he calls me to live, but also that I must not delay. Rather, I need to immediately turn from things that do not glorify Him and live how he is calling me to live.
~Sam
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