Wall

 
I just got done playing the hardest game of Frisbee I've ever played, and I have a hemmorhoid (I've given up trying to spell this damn word) that's on fire. It's a good metaphor for where I am in the scriptures right now. Just when I thought I was getting the hang of this Old Testament thing, I hit a wall. For about three hundred days, I've trudged through 1st and 2nd Samuel and 1st and 2nd Kings, picking up helpful applications for the day as if they were sweet apples dangling off a tree limb. Out of nowhere, I hit a wall.

    The first thing I thought of when I hit this wall was, "Oh, shit." I've been on a roll for this long, and all of a sudden it's like I'm blind. I can't see anything but darkness in what I'm reading. I'm not seeing God. I'm not seeing love. I'm not seeing hope. I'm seeing life in the real world, and I don't like it. It's full of priests who unleash murderous rampages on their enemies in the name of God. It's full of prophets and kings who merely have to say "Go," and the whole country rapes and pillages another. All in the name of God, of course.

     Every bit of me wants to turn to the back of the book. Every bit of me wants to read what I'm familiar with - the Gospels, the Epistles (and not Revelation - at least not yet). I want to see Jesus in writing because I can't see him in real life. I want to see God because I can't hear him or her in real life. The best chance I have is to read about God, but to tell you the truth I can't handle going too many chapters without seeing grace and compassion.

    I'm feeling the antagonism of the agnostic rising up within me. I'm wondering how I could ever believe this stuff. I'm wondering if people really knew what was contained in this book, if they would still believe in God.

    I have to remember that I'm not reading a book that appeared out of thin air, written as if God's hands were a laser printer. I'm reading someone's memoirs. I'm not reading God's memoirs. If God had memoirs, we wouldn't need to read the Bible. I'm taking a step back this week to pray and prepare to hit it again. I'm going to do some writing on the Twelve Traditions of A.A. and how they can possibly help make small groups better. In the meantime, I'm hoping I can recover the open-minded childish take on the Old Testament and stop being so damn serious. 

Ultimate Authority

(A look inside the Twelve Traditions of A.A., which have held the organization together for over sixty years.)

Tradition Two: "For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern."

    

Who of us likes to let go of the things we attempt to create? Who of us likes to be told that our ideas are not the best ideas for the common welfare of a community? This essentially is the principle behind the second tradition.

     When churches, small groups, and non-profits start out, there are founders. The founders are the people who took their ideas and put them into action. They created the space for the seed to be planted and nurtured. They are willing to go to any length to find a fellowship with other people who are striving after the same things - to grow spiritually and carry the message out into the world.

     After a time, people become attracted to the group. People plant themselves into the group. It's at this point that the group, in my opinion, either heads toward fallout or healthy growth. At my current church, I was not one of the founders. There were five people who founded the church. All filled with the desire to grow in their own lives and to take what they'd found into the world, they hung together with the desperation of drowning people. They knew that they had to work together as well as play together in order to make the thing work. The years went by, and they developed a pretty good following of close to eighty people. 

     These eighty people shared the same vision, and jumped on board. However, as the community grew, the same five voices who founded the community continued to be the same five voices six years later. They managed to hush the rising tide of democracy coming from the eighty, and stuck to the ideas they had managed to hold onto for all those years. Over time, even the insiders began to disagree, unbeknownst to the eighty. What used to be one circle of people aspiring to experience wholeness and to show others exactly how they did so, became several concentric circles of confusion, secrecy, and disagreement. The space that had once served as a think tank for the original five never developed to include the added members. Although the majority would have liked to see the ship go in a different direction, the ship stayed on its original course. Several of the founders left, as well as many of the mainstay members over the years. 

     The second tradition is what keeps any person or persons from running away with the vision of the group. It is believed that the only way to know God's direction for the group is to hold a "group conscience," in which the members lay their ideas on the table and vote. The collective decisions are then put into action. One might ask, "Well, who are the members?" Without any need for formal head counts or membership applications, the members are the ones who have become mainstays. They're the ones who show up. They're the ones who are pouring their lives into the welfare of the group. They're the ones who are desperate to seek wholeness as well as giving it away. 

     Obviously, in order to start a group, there have to be one or two people wearing all the hats. But eventually, as people become involved and interested, the hats have to be shared. Why? Because the members demand it. 

     How many times have we "heard the voice of God," only to sit with a group of friends and be told that the voice we heard wasn't compatible with the welfare of all? That is what happens with the second tradition. No matter the power or the conviction we sense in our ideas, the ultimate authority is the voice of the group conscience. In order for this to happen, there needs to be members - those who keep showing up. The members know who they are, without having to be questioned or surveyed. Once their are members, their needs to be a space created in which the members throw their ideas, suggestions, and concerns on the table for discussion. Once again, these meetings are not closed. They are open to anyone who considers themselves members. In these meetings is where the "voice of God" gives direction to the group. It requires mutual submission and individual humility and surrender. As more people become members, more ideas are entered into the discussion. The direction of the group should always represent the diversity of its members. In this way, the majority and the minority are always given a voice. 

Group Question: 

1. Does our group do anything that misrepresents the conscience of the majority of the group?

Personal Questions:

1. Do I criticize or do I trust and support my group leaders?
2. Am I absolutely trustworthy, even in secret, with my group responsibilities? 
3. Do I look for credit in my responsibilities, praise for my ideas?
4. Do I have to save face in group discussion, or can I yield in good spirit to the group conscience and work cheerfully along with it?
5. Although I have been spiritually balanced for a few years, am I still willing to serve my turn at group chores?
6. In group discussions, do I sound off about matters on which I have no experience and little knowledge?

 

 

Common Welfare

"Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on A.A. unity."

      I was once in a small group that acted as a sort of guinea pig for a church that was starting up. Our purpose was to serve the homeless, and we would meet every week to talk about ways we could do so. We'd travel to Galveston and Houston looking for people we could help, and we had some pretty good success doing so. However, after about one year of growing, the leaders of the group all of a sudden ran into some personal difficulties. Sickness and finances became paramount in their lives, and the group was like a flock of sheep without a shepherd. 

      

     All of us in the group had, I think, a common goal to immerse ourselves in the service of helping others. We all had our struggles and our quirks - our likes and our dislikes. However, when the couple who led the group ran into difficulties in their personal lives, we found ourselves scrambling, wondering what we would do next. I remember meeting at Starbucks, and the purpose was to kill the group. Since we had no leader, we had no purpose. That was the last night most of us would see each other ever again.

     When we enter into the fellowship of small groups, churches, or non-profit organizations, we are entering for several reasons. If we are honest with ourselves, we know that we are lacking in some area of our lives, and are seeking a solution. We enter the small group with the hope that we will grow in the areas we are lacking. Perhaps, the growth takes time. Maybe it's sudden. Either way, we enter having a problem that needs a solution. 

     It's been my experience that not all members of a small group or church are realistic about their inward battles. Perhaps most of the members are, and then there are one, two, or three leaders, pastors, or elders who are given the reigns on being the "voices" of the group. They are expected to live above reproach, to display themselves as flawless, and to hide any serious doubt about their belief systems. When we have leaders who are seen as being above our worldly problems, and being removed from any of the serious pressures which we face every day, there is a gap created. The gap represents the invisible abyss between those of us who have serious problems, and those of us who don't. It is because of this gap that groups like mine mentioned above die. 

 

     When any group or church places so much responsibility on one or a few members, and then a problem arises with those members, it's like a house of cards. The structure comes tumbling down. The members realize they placed their dependence on a few and not the collective. Their is fault to go all around. The individuals can take blame for depending on a few people, and the leaders can take blame for not leveling out the playing field when it comes to responsibility. It is for this reason that "the groups common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on group unity."

 

     Unity is the result of a group of people coming together, rallying around a common problem, looking for a common solution. In this, there is no more leadership than the collective leadership of the group. Since everyone admits they are struggling in some area, everyone realizes that the group itself becomes the avenue towards spiritual growth. There is no need to create leadership positions, because no one has all the answers to the problems. Equality and humility mix together to create a unified group of people who are all seeking a solution. 

 

Group Question: 

1. Does our group put the interests of any individual above the welfare of the group as a whole?

 Personal Questions: 

1. Am I in my group a healing, mending, integrating person, or am I divisive? What about gossip and taking other members' inventories? 
2. Am I a peacemaker? Or do I, with pious preludes such as "just for the sake of discussion," plunge into argument?
3. Am I gentle with those who rub me the wrong way, or am I abrasive?
4. Do I make competitive remarks, such as comparing one group with another?
5. Do I put down some activities as if I were superior for not participating?
6. Am I informed about the group as a whole? Do I support, in every way I can, the group as a whole, or just the parts I understand and approve of?
7. Am I as considerate of group members as I want them to be of me?
8. Do I spout platitudes about love while indulging in and secretly justifying behavior that bristles with hostility?
9. Do I go to enough group meetings to really keep in touch?
10. Do I share with the group all of me, the bad and the good, accepting as well as giving the help of fellowship?

Dog Droppings (Ordinary Time - Day 115)

2 Kings 9:17-37

Jehu has three kings on his hit list - Joram, Ahaziah, and Jezebel. First up is Joram. Jehu and his company of officers are riding in the distance as the sentry in the watchtower follows them with his binoculars. King Joram is standing beside him and orders the sentry to send out a messenger to meet them. The messenger goes and asks Jehu, "Is anything wrong?"

Jehu replies, "What's it to you if anything's wrong or right? Fall in behind me."

The sentry sees that the messenger arrives but doesn't return, so Joram tells him to send another horseman out to talk to Jehu. The second messenger asks Jehu, "Is anything wrong?"

Jehu replies, "What's it to you if anything's wrong or right? Get behind me."

The sentry sees again that the messengers isn't returning, and as the company gets closer, the sentry realizes that the driver looks alot like Jehu because of his erratic charioteering. Joram says, "Get my chariot! I'm gonna go out and meet him." Both Joram and Ahaziah - the king of Judah - go out and meet Jehu. When they arrive, Joram asks Jehu how everything's going. Jehu asks, "Well, everything's not going well. Your mom continues turning the country into a melting pot of whoring and sorcery."

Joram realizes it's a trap, and yells out to Ahaziah to get out of there. It's too late though, because before Joram has a chance to turn his chariot around, he gets shout through the heart with an arrow from Jehu. Then, they chase after Ahaziah and shoot him through the heart as well. Two kings down. Jehu tells his officers to throw Joram in the field, claiming that he's fulfilling God's prophecy by doing so. Ahaziah is picked up by his aides and taken back to Jerusalem to be buried in the family plot.

Then, they head to see Jezebel, the princess whore. When they arrive to her palace, she's standing in the window with her hair arranged and looking seductive. She things that she'll be able to woo Jehu into backing off. Jehu doesn't fall for it though. He yells up to the window to see if there's anyone inside whose on his side. Two palace eunuchs look out the window. Jehu yells, "Throw her down!"

The two eunuchs throw her out the window. When she falls, her blood spatters the wall and the horses. Jehu tells his officers, "Give that damn woman a decent burial. After all, she was a king's daughter." All that's left of her though is skull, hands, and feet. The officers tell him that there's nothing left to bury, and he says that it fulfills an earlier prophecy: "The body of Jezebel will be like dog droppings. People will ask, 'Is this the body of Jezebel?'"

Jehu (Ordinary Time - Day 114)

2 Kings 9:1-16

Elisha sends one of his prophets to Ramoth Gilead to talk to a man named Jehu. Jehu is the son of Jehoshaphat, who was next up in line for kingship over Israel. Elisha gives the prophet the following instructions: "Take a flask of oil and pour it over Jehu's head. Anoint him as king over Israel. Then, get the hell out of there so they don't kill you. They're gonna think you're crazy."

The young prophet follows the instructions and anoints Jehu as king over Israel. When he finds him, he's sitting out in a courtyard with his fellow army officers. The young prophet walks up and asks for Jehu. When Jehu acknowledges his presence, they go into the back room. The young prophets says, "Here's what God says: 'I'm getting revenge for the death of my servants the prophets. The line of Ahab is gonna get wiped out, and I'm gonna use you to do it. Jezebel's dead carcass will get eaten by dogs in the open fields of Israel. You're going to wipe out the regime of Joram, which has been carrying out Ahab's murderous legacy.'"

After the prophet anoints him, he makes a run for it. When Jehu comes out of the room, his fellow officers ask what was going on. Jehu tells them that the prophet was crazy, he was all talk. The officers call his bluff and ask, "What's really going on?"

Jehu responds, "He anointed me king over Israel!"

Everybody scrambles to construct a makeshift throne, and they grab their trumpets to declare Jehu as king. Jehu mounts his chariot and heads for the home of Joram to carry out the conspiracy he's been given. 

Chariots (Ordinary Time - Day 113)

2 Kings 6:1-23

The King of Aram sets up an ambush to attack Israel. Elisha finds out about this, and leaks the information to the King of Israel. Every time an ambush is plotted, the Israelites avoid the attack through Elisha's whistleblowing.

The King of Aram finally decides to get his troops together and find out who's leaking the information inside of his ranks. One of the officers steps up and says, "Master, none of us are doing it. It's Elisha the prophet of Israel. He's leaking all of your war strategies to the King of Israel, including all your bedroom talk."

So, the King of Aram sends the officer to find out where Elisha is. He comes back with the report that Elisha is in Dothan. The King of Aram sends his horses and chariots out to capture Elisha, and they surround the city. Early one morning, Elisha's servant walks out and sees that the city is surrounded with horses and chariots. He goes to tell Elisha about it and says, "Master, what are we gonna do?"

Elisha says, "Don't worry. We've got more people on our side than they've got on their side." Then, he prays and asks God to open the eyes of his servant. The servant's eyes are opened to a whole mountainside of horses and chariots of fire. Then Elisha prays, "God, strike this army blind!" The whole Aramean army is struck blind. Elisha calls out to them, telling them where to go. He leads them right into the heart of Samaria, where they have been plotting attacks for years. Once they get there, Elisha prays, "God, open their eyes so they can see where they are." Their eyes are opened and they see that they're right in the heart of Samaria.

When the King of Israel sees a whole army of his enemies in his city, he asks Elisha, "So, you want me to massacre the lot?" Elisha says, "Really? You didn't even lay a finger on them, and now you want to kill them? No! What I want you to do is put together a huge feast for them, and then send them back to their master."

The King of Israel does exactly that. The soldiers eat and drink their fill, and the king dismisses them. The Arameans left Israel alone after that.

When I find out that someone is plotting to trip me up, my first reaction is not to pray for them or make them a meal. I want revenge. I want to counter attack. I want them to get what they deserve.

In this passage, Elisha strikes first by leaking information. Although it's the right thing to do, it sets off the King of Aram. He retaliates. Elisha could have fought back, but instead believed with all his heart that he was protected and didn't need to fight.

Elisha wasn't innocent in this passage. He stepped on the toes of Aram, and Aram wanted recompense. He may have been innocent in the eyes of Israel, but not in the eyes of Aram. So, he probably understood why the Arameans would want to capture him. Yet, he didn't budge in his belief that God would protect him and provide a way out that didn't involve bloodshed.

Most of the time, if someone is angry with me, it's not because I've done nothing. I've usually done something that may have been innocent in my eyes, but not in theirs. And, the human reaction in situations like this is to retaliate. Retaliation leads to retaliation. If I ignore the fact that I've done something to set the ball in motion, then I'll look at the situation as random and see the person who's pissed at me as evil and heartless. That's just how it is. However, if I take a second to think back to what I could have possibly done to set this person off, I will find something.

Most of the time, people's retaliatory actions are not random. They are based off of something that offended them previously. They are striking back. It's in these types of situations where we have two options. We can trust that we don't have to fight back and continue the retaliation because it's in God's hands, or we can play the retaliation game.

When someone gossips about me, says something mean to me, or does anything that seems unfair, I need to look back to see what I may have done to prompt this. Chances are I've done something that was taken the wrong way, but was innocent in my eyes. In these moments of confrontation, I don't have to fight back or even get angry. I have the option of believing that God is in control. I can pray for the person, and then do something nice for them. So, the question isn't whether I can or not. It's whether I will or not.

Today's Action: Confrontation will happen. When it does, look back to see where we possibly set the ball rolling. Then, instead of playing the retaliation game, trust that God is in control and that we don't have to retaliate back. Ask God for an intuitive way to bless the person. Then, do it. 

Supply (Ordinary Time - Day 112)

2 Kings 5:19-27

Elisha's servant Gehazi can't believe that Naaman has left without so much as giving a thank you. In actuality, Elisha refused repayment because he wanted God to receive all the credit. But Gehazi isn't okay with this. He thinks they deserve some of the silver off Naaman's donkey at least. So, Gehazi gets the wild idea to chase down Naaman and make up a story to get him to hand over some of the wealth.

Gehazi tells Naaman, "Something's come up. Two young men from the guild of prophets showed up the Elisha's place, and they need some supplies. They're down on their luck, and Elisha told me to ask you to supply them with 75 pounds of silver and two sets of clothes."

Naaman happily consented and went the extra mile, giving Gehazi 150 pounds of silver, two sets of clothes, and two servants to help carry the gifts back home.

When they get back to the house, Gehazi stows away the gifts and sends the servants back to Naaman. He still has to face Elisha though. Elisha asks him, "What have you been up to?"

"Nothing," Gehazi responds.

Elisha says, "Don't you know that I was with you in spirit when Naaman greeted you on his chariot? Do you think this is the time to look after yourself and line your pockets with gifts? Because you've done this, Naaman's skin disease will infect you and your family, and there will be no relief."

The author writes that Gehazi walked away, with skin that was flaky and white as snow.

I was once an avid giver to the church. I invested just like one would with the stock market. My thought was that if I gave frequently, I would receive a return on my investment. Maybe I would be listened to more, or my ideas would be implemented more than others. Or maybe it was like insurance. When my car broke down, I would be able to go to the church and say, "Look, I gave this much. What can you do for me now?"

After a couple years of doing this, I realized that the direction the church was going was not the direction I wanted the church to go. I started getting angry. I started wondering why my investment was not returning what I expected. I started complaining. My heart became bitter. My money had resentment tied to it now.

There were rumors of building campaigns and the debt that goes along with that, so I became even more calloused to the idea of giving without strings attached. I couldn't enjoy giving any longer because I had set up this whole construct in my mind of a stock market, where I would touch and see the returns of my investment. This didn't happen though. I felt as though I was giving to an invisible being, although the needs that were being met were all around me.

I finally opted out. I couldn't find the wherewithal to give without having high expectations of where my dollars went. I could either give with resentment and high expectations, or stop giving and find some peace of mind and somewhere else to pour my money into.

The only way I could find peace is, I needed to give in a way that exceeded my expectations of receiving anything tangible in return. I found it. I started paying more attention to the needs around me. I started paying attention to my friends, who, were actually struggling pretty bad financially. I hadn't noticed it before because all of my emotions were wrapped around me and my money. Once I let go of expecting a return from the church, I was able to give directly and joyfully to the people I came into contact with on a regular basis. I don't expect anything back from them because it is selfless giving. There's nothing better than getting to give to someone who's fighting to keep their head above water, and getting to see them gradually get back on their feet.

In order to give without expecting anything in return, we have to give to the people and institutions that we are passionate about contributing to. If we are not passionate about who we're giving to, we will expect something in return. As humans, we do demand something in return. We are a reciprocal species. We barter and trade. We make transactions. However, there is something special about giving without expecting reciprocity, but assuming that it will take place in some size, shape, or form.

When we give, and don't demand anything in return, we receive more than we could have ever asked for. Grace and peace end up being the prized currencies. But, when we give expecting something in return, we end up resentful and bitter. We want the receiver to pay us back. The currency ends up being resentment and fear.

Today's Action: We will have an opportunity to give something today. Whether we are passionate about the person or thing we are giving to, may we pray "Thy will be done with this . . . " Then, may our transactions be made of grace and peace.

Immerse (Ordinary Time - Day 111)

2 Kings 5:1-19

There's this guy named Naaman, and he's the commanding officer in the army of Aram. Through him, Aram has won many victories. He has a very high status with the king, but also has a grievous skin disease. One day, as Aram is conducting a raid on Israel, a young girl is captured who ends up being the maid of Naaman's wife.

One day she says to Naaman's wife, "Does Naaman know about the prophet of Samaria? He can surely heal his skin disease?"

When Naaman hears about this, he runs to the king and asks for his blessing to go to Samaria to see the prophet. The king blesses him, and also gives him a letter of introduction to give to the King of Israel. Naaman shows up to the king of Israel with letter in hand, and the king gets freaked out. He says, "Who am I, a god? I don't have the power to bring life or death. What does this mean?"

Elisha hears about what's going on and tells the king, "Dude, this letter is for me, not you. Send Naaman to me so he can know there is one true God of Israel." Naaman goes to Elisha's place and receives instruction from his servant Gehazi. "Go to the Jordan and immerse yourself seven times. Your skin will be healed and you will be like new."

Instead of doing what Elisha says, Naaman gets mad as a hornet and stomps off. "He doesn't even come out to greet me? What the hell?" Naaman's servants catch up to him and say, "If the prophet asked you to do something heroic and hard, you would have done it with no complaints. But, he's only asked you to wash in the Jordan. What's so hard about that?"

Naaman changes his mind and does as Elisha has instructed. He goes to river, immerses himself seven times, and his skin turns new. He's healed. He can't believe it, and goes back to Elisha to offer him a gift of gratitude. Elisha refuses to take a payment because he doesn't want any of the credit that belongs to God. Naaman says, "I finally know beyond a doubt that there is no god but the God of Israel. I'm convinced. There is one thing I need to ask pardon for though. My master worships at Rimmon, and he needs help getting around. I help him get to the shrine to worship. Can you see to it that God pardons me for this?"

Elisha says, "Everything will be all right. Go in peace."

As a recovering alcoholic, I know what it's like to not want to listen to anybody who thinks they have a solution to my problems. The warnings were always there, but I was not willing to take heed. I had to get beat up, trampeled, and hopeless before I was ready to listen to anyone. But, when I finally did listen, the healing process began. It's the same with any affliction that I face. Whether it be anger, addiction to pornography, or addiction to money, the thinking that got me into the problem isn't going to be what gets me into the solution. I'm going to have to eventually listen to someone other than me.

The healing process starts with taking instruction from somebody else, but usually that can't happen until I'm convinced that my thinking isn't working. When that happens, I am inwardly and outwardly admitting that I am done and have no solution for my problems.

For Naaman, he thought it was absurd to wash in the nasty Jordan River. In his mind, the rivers of Damascus were much cleaner and safe to wash in. Logically, this made sense. But, he was still trying to use his thinking to get rid of the problem. It was only when he submitted his thinking and took on an act of faith, that he got into the Jordan River and followed instructions.

This seems to be a common theme in the book of 2 Kings: the logical way out isn't always the best way out.

Today's Action: What is one thing holding us back right now? Pray that God's will be done in that area, then go to one trusted person and ask for instruction. Follow the instructions. Let the healing process begin.

Sunday Morning Ted Talk - Kakenya Ntaiya: A Girl Who Demanded School

Whirlwind (Ordinary Time - Day 109)

2 Kings 2:1-18

In today's passage, the author writes about the relationship between Elijah and Elisha. Elijah was the prophet - a holy man - and Elisha was his apprentice. In today's language it would probably look like a mentor relationship. The author writes that they are standing there, and Elijah tells Elisha that God has sent him on an errand to Bethel. Elijah tells him to stay there, but Elisha says, "Not on my life! I'm not letting you out of my sight!" So, they travel together to Bethel.

When they arrive, a guild of prophets meets Elisha and says to him, "Do you know that God is taking your master away today?" Elisha responds, "Yes, but keep it quiet."

Elijah tells Elisha, "God has sent me on an errand to Jericho. Stay here." Elisha refuses to let him out of his sight again, and they both travel to Jericho.

When they arrive, a guild of prophets approaches Elisha and says, "Do you know that God is taking your master away today?" Elisha responds again, "Yes, but keep it quiet."

Elijah tells Elisha, "God has sent me on an errand to the Jordan. Stay here." Elisha refuses to stay again, and they both travel to the Jordan. Once they arrive to the Jordan, a guild of prophets is standing some distance away. Elijah takes his cloak, rolls it up, and hits the water of the Jordan with it. The author writes that the river divides, and they walk across on dry land. When they get to the other side, Elijah asks his student, "Before I go away, what would you like me to do for you?"

Elisha responds, "I'd like to have your life repeated in my life. I want to be holy like you are." Elijah tells him that his request will come true if he watches the whole process of his departure. "You have to watch, and then you'll get what you ask for."

The author writes that a chariot with horses of fire comes between them, and Elijah gets swept up to heaven in a whirlwind of dust. Once Elisha can't see anything else, he rips his robe to pieces as a symbol of mourning the loss of his friend. Then, he grabs Elijah's cloak and returns it to the Jordan. He repeats what he saw his master do earlier, and hits the water with the cloak. He asks, "Where is the God of Elijah? Where is he?" As he asks the question, the water divides again and Elisha walks across on dry land.

We're not told that Elisha was a holy man, much less a man who loved or followed God. However, we're told that Elisha wanted what Elijah had. He clung to his master, and didn't want to miss out on anything his master did. He refused to not follow Elijah, and didn't want to let him out of his sight.

As I read this story, I think about who in my life is worthy of following as Elijah was to Elisha. In my doubt and unbelief, who can I look to as a reminder of where my foundation is or where I am headed? Who am I unwilling to let out of my sight?

I need an Elijah in my life. I need someone who lives more radically than I do, that I can look up to and follow every step. I need someone who has what I want when it comes to following Jesus and trusting God with everything. I need a mentor whose answers to life's biggest questions aren't always built on logic alone.

The truth is, I'm afraid to ask because I don't want to be let down. I don't want to expect someone to push me past my limits, only to find that their idea of limits is way lower than mine. I want someone who truly believes that God can take things that are impossible and make them possible, someone who can speak into the areas of my life that I lack in, give me the tools to build with.

I'm going to start looking and praying. I have an intense desire to be stretched past my limits, to be challenged and not maintained. I want to be pushed into my discomfort zone, not hedged in to the status quo.

Today's Action: Do we have a mentor in our life who pushes us past the edge of reason, onto the shore of faith? Do we have a mentor or spiritual leader who is constantly challenging us to raise the bar on faith? If not, start searching and praying. 

Chink (Ordinary Time - Day 107)

1 Kings 22:29-45

Kings Ahab and Jehoshaphat go into battle against Ramoth Gilead. Ahab decides to go into war disguised to try to save his own ass. The words of Micaiah are ringing through his head, and he knows he better watch his steps. He tells Jehoshaphat to wear the kingly robe, so that he doesn't get spotted by the opposition.

King Aram of the opposing army and his chariot commanders, spot the king of Israel. They think it's Ahab until Jehoshaphat yells out. They realize they have the wrong man. Ahab is somewhere hidden in the ranks. Aram tells his charioteers to only go after the king and to not mess with anyone else, no matter how great or small. They let Jehoshaphat go.

Someone shoots an unaimed, random arrow into the crowd of Ahab's fighters, and the arrow winds up in the chink of Ahab's armor. It pierces his heart. Ahab screams to his charioteers to get him out of there. He's wounded. For the rest of the night, Ahab props himself up in his chariot, watching from the sidelines. As the sun goes down, he dies. A reverberating yell comes out from the army as everyone realizes that Ahab is dead, "Abandon camp! Head home! The king is dead!"

They take Ahab home and bury him in the same cemetery as his ancestors. The chariot is filled with blood and gets washed at the pool of Samaria. Ahaziah, Ahab's son, is the next king of Israel.

About five years ago, I decided to come clean with the leaders of my church about my pot smoking. We all sat in a room, and as I looked at everyone in the eyes, I confessed that I had been getting high every night. I felt like I needed to tell them because I was pretty invested in the church, and didn't think it would be good to keep secrets like that. Not shortly after the conversation started, I began to throw people under the bus. The good friends of mine who were also part of the church got drawn into the conversation in an effort to make myself look better than I was. Their reputation was compromised because I wanted to save my own skin at their expense.

I was in trouble and I knew it. I decided to do what Ahab did, and clothe them in my kingly robe. I drew them into the mess I created in order to disguise myself - to take the attention off of me. This really hurt our friendship because one of the leaders in the room called my friends on the phone later on and confronted them about the gossip that I started. Our relationship has never mended since that conversation.

Disguising ourselves to save our own butts at the expense of others doesn't work. When we create chaos, we can either take responsibility without dragging other people into it, or we can try to make other people look bad in the process. In the end, the ones who weren't part of the mess we created are saved and let go. We're the ones who get the fatal arrow.

Today's Action: If we mess up today, take responsibility for our actions and not anybody else's. Don't try to bring other people into it in order to make ourselves look better than we really are. In the end, honesty wins out.

Puppets and Prophets (Ordinary Time - Day 106)

1 Kings 22:1-28

King Ahab starts getting power hungry again, and realizes he still has territory that he needs to seize control of. So, he asks King Jehoshaphat - the king of Judah - if he will join him in taking over Ramoth Gilead. King Jehoshaphat says he'll gladly help and even share his troops and horses. But, he says, he needs to ask God for guidance before he does anything. So, the two kings call all the prophets together - four hundred in all - and ask them if they should attack Ramoth Gilead or hold back.

All four hundred prophets tell them to attack and that God will hand the city over to them. Jehoshaphat is not pleased with this answer, so he asks Ahab if there's another prophet in the city they can consult.

There is. His name is Micaiah. Ahab says, "I hate him. Every time I go to him he has nothing good to say. It's always doom, doom, and more doom." Regardless, they send messengers to Micaiah, asking him to consult the kings. They tell him that the vote's been unanimous from the prophets, and that he should not stir up the pot. Micaiah says, "As sure as God lives, what God says I say."

It turns out that Micaiah says to go ahead and attack, and that it will be an easy victory. Ahab senses that Micaiah isn't telling the truth, and asks him for more. Micaiah gives it to him. Quoting from scriptures, he tells Ahab that he sees God "sitting in the heavens surrounded by angels." God says, 'All the people of Israel are like sheep with no shepherd. They've been scattered and left with no defense. How can we seduce Ahab into attacking Ramoth Gilead, the center of tyranny?' Then an angel stands up and says, 'I'll do it. I'll seduce him.' Micaiah tells Ahab that all his prophets are puppets, telling him what he wants to hear, and that they don't speak truth.

When Ahab hears this, he gets pissed and orders his servants to throw Micaiah in jail, giving him bread and water until he returns in one piece. Micaiah responds, "As sure as God lives, if you are back in one piece then I am not a prophet of God."

Today, we would consider our prophets to be preachers. More than ever, the message is mainstreamed. In order to find fresh new ways of thinking, one has to search diligently, and be ready to hear something that contradicts the mainstream message.

As Jesus followers, it's very easy to get swept away by normalcy. It's easy to get so used to hearing the same thing over and over that it becomes the only way. Yet, we dive into the scriptures for only a moment, and find that there is so much more. We wrestle within ourselves, asking, "But, this isn't what the pastor said on Sunday, is it?"

How do we tell puppets from prophets? See what happens next. Test it. Weigh it. See if it can turn into tangible reality. If so, then we've followed directions that are real. The prophet was a prophet. Puppets simply join in on the parade of the majority. The answer that everyone accepts is the only answer. Without any further research or self-testing, puppets accept what the norm is.

Prophets don't care what the mainstream says. They only care about what they interpret through the scriptures. If it happens to fall in line with mainstream, so be it. If it doesn't, they don't care. They are honed in on studying and interpreting the scriptures in a way that makes sense to them.

When we put ourselves into the vulnerable position of receiving guidance from spiritual leaders, we better have done our research. We better have a working knowledge of the scriptures. Without that, we have no way of knowing whether we're listening to a prophet or a puppet.

Burlap (Ordinary Time - Day 106)

1 Kings 21:17-29

Elijah gets word that Ahab is on his way to claim Naboth's vineyard for his own. Naboth - through the manipulation of Ahab's wife - has been stoned to death. It was all in an effort to steal Naboth's vineyard.

Elijah confronts Ahab and says, "First murder, and now theft? What the hell do you think you're doing? Because of what you and your crazy wife have done, God will make mincemeat of your descendants. The same spot where the dogs lapped up Naboth's blood will become the spot where your blood will be licked by the same dogs. The blood of Jezebel will be licked up by the dogs all across Israel. Anyone tainted by the name of Ahab will be eaten by stray dogs, and corpses in the countryside will be eaten by scavaging crows. Doom is coming to you asshole!"

Because Ahab fears what Elijah tells him, he starts ripping his clothes to shreds - the public display of mourning in Jewish tradition. He puts on a penitential burlap cloth and starts fasting. He even sleeps in burlap pajamas. He's bopped til the very last drop, and knows that death is on the way if he doesn't change something. Impending doom fills his mind and causes him to start doing things a little differently.

Elijah takes notice of what Ahab is doing, the kind of repentance he's displaying, and senses that God will spare him in his lifetime.

I looked at porn last night, and it's gotten to the point where I don't even remember how often I look at it. It's all a blur. It's not even about right or wrong anymore, but about powerlessness. I've lost the power of choice when it comes to it. I don't have the power to change my thinking when the thought comes, and there is only one way to escape the controlling, powerful thoughts. The only way is prayer. And, its to the point where if my heart is not sincere, prayer doesn't work.

Here's what happens when I pray with a sincere heart. I get on my knees before I find myself alone. I ask God to direct my thinking. My thinking becomes clear, and through His power I resist.

When I pray with an insincere heart, or don't pray at all, there is no mental defense in the world that will keep me from doing what I know is wrong. It's going to take something that I don't have to get me out of this obsession. It was the same way with alcohol. It's the same way with the desire to control other people. It's the same way with anger.

When I face whatever struggle is going on at the time, and I don't rely on God to get me through it, I will "bop til I drop." What that means is, I'm going to take it all the way to the gates of insanity. I'm going to drink it to the very last drop. Unless the fear or pain get to the point where I finally give up, I'm going to keep on boppin'. When I hit rock bottom, I don't have any power left to continue doing what's been torturing my mind. I'm left with no other choice but to rely on God.

So, the only reprieve I have between where I am now, and rock bottom, is prayer. The only power there is to stop anything that's kicking my ass is outside of myself. I connect to that power through prayer, but prayer is not abstract. It is action. It requires getting on my knees. It requires believing. It requires doing this over and over, until the liability is turned into an asset.

Repentance is experiencing the futility and hopelessness of the path I'm heading down, and doing something about it. It is not about thinking the right thoughts, because if that were the case then I could just change my mind. I can't use the same thinking that got me into the problem, to relieve me of the problem. Repentance is opening myself up to the possibility that God can save me from myself, and then tapping into the power that's available through action.

I don't believe that God is a God of doom, holding punishment for our disobedience in one hand, and grace in another. I believe God is present in everything we do, always listening and trying to work with us. There are things in our lives that keep us from being fully awake to the wooing and inviting of God, so we find ourselves lacking in those areas. We find ourselves unable to be fully alive in those areas, unable to contribute to the world and God's kingdom. Our God is about restoration not condemnation though, and invites us to open ourselves up to the possibility of real and lasting change - the kind that's on his terms and not ours. It's the kind of change that replaces chaos with peace and hopelessness with renewed satisfaction with life.

May we open ourselves up to the possibility that God can and will give us the power to resist the things that are driving us mad. May we realize that we don't have the power by default. May we realize that there are liabilities in our lives that need to become assets, because we really do have beautiful things to contribute to this world.

Today's Action: Pay attention to our thought patterns today. As soon as the threadbare thought comes about doing whatever thing it is that drives us mad, get on our knees and pray. Ask God to direct our thinking. Repeat this over and over.

Vineyard (Ordinary Time - Day 105)

1 Kings 21:1-16

In this story, King Ahab realizes he has a world class vineyard next to his house, but the problem is he's not the owner. The owner's name is Naboth. Ahab goes up to Naboth one day and says, "I'd like to use your vineyard for my kitchen garden. I'll either buy it from you or give you an even better vineyard."

Naboth says, "There's no way in hell I'm giving you the family farm! Are you out of your mind?"

Ahab doesn't like what he hears and goes home to sulk about it. He goes into a deep depression and refuses to eat. Jezebel, his crazy wife, shows up and asks Ahab why he's in such a funk. She says, "Come on dude, you're a king. Get on your feet and cheer up! Eat something! If you want something you need to go and get it. Here's what I'll do. I'll get the vineyard for you."

Jezebel sends out letters to all the elders and civic leaders of the city, and tells them to call a day of fasting. She tells them that when they come together to break the fast, to seat Naboth at the head table. Then, she tells them to plant two town drunks across the table from him. "Get the two degenerates to accuse Naboth of blaspheming God and the king. Then, the townspeople will become so upset that they'll take Naboth outside and stone him to death."

Jezebel forges Ahab's signature, and everyone thinks the author is Ahab. So, they swallow the dimented advice of Jezebel and do exactly as the letter instructs. They put Naboth at the head table, he gets accused, and they stone him to death.

When Jezebel receives word that Naboth is dead, she tells Ahab to go and claim the farm for his own. He does.

Have you ever punished someone for not giving you what you wanted? I have.

About six years ago I was trying to "fix" a homeless couple. I was trying to rescue them from drugs, alcohol, and living in a way I didn't think was appropriate. I would show up every weekend with planner in hand, and plan what I thought they should do the following week. I didn't care what they wanted, but only cared that they followed my instructions. In the process, I got a friend to give them his car since they needed an extra vehicle. I also got other people involved in their business. I became their king (in my own head mind you).

What I wanted for them was to get better. I wanted them to get out of the hole. In reality, I was the one who was in the hole. I was the alcoholic, suffering from a hopeless state of mental insanity. I couldn't see it though. The more I tried to tell them what to do, the more they resisted. The more they resisted, the more controlling I became. I was obsessed with trying to change them and getting them to become the way I wanted them to be. They weren't going to have any of it.

In my mind, I thought I was doing them a great service. I thought I was a super hero. However, I was the one who needed help with my problems. They were doing just fine. As I got more people involved in their business, more expectations were placed on them to things that pleased us. We wanted them to get a driver's license. We wanted them to get jobs. We wanted them to go to church. We wanted them to get the kind of life we had.

They didn't want that though. So, we took the car away and called the CPS. They weren't giving us what we wanted, and we took measures to punish them for their disobedience.

I know this sounds extreme, but when power comes into play, we are not removed from making really brash decisions. Power has a way of wooing us to take things that aren't freely given to us. I think the homeless couple that I was trying to fix is way better off now that I'm not in their lives anymore. I believe that when they were freed from my obsession to control them, they began to recreate their lives in the way they wanted, with no strings attached.

When we want something, are we okay with not getting it? When we want somebody to do something for us, are we okay with them saying no? 

It's very tempting, especially when we hold some kind of authority, to not let no be a complete sentence. Instead of accepting someone else's decision to say no, we conspire ways to get what we want. In Jezebel's case, she had the man stoned to death.

Today's Action: Let no be a complete sentence.
 

Rain Cloud (Ordinary Time - Day 103)

1 Kings 18:41-19:8

Elijah senses that rain is on the way, that the three year drought is about to end. So, he tells King Ahab to get up and celebrate. He tells him to eat, drink, and celebrate. Elijah and his servant climb to the top of Mount Carmel, and Elijah bows gets on his hands and knees in prayer. Something inside of him is telling him that rain is coming, so he taps into that power. As he's praying, he tells his servant to look out over the sea and look for a rain cloud. The servant does this, and doesn't see anything at first. After several times, the servant says, "I see a cloud, but it's no bigger than a hand and it's rising out of the sea."

When Elijah hears this, he tells his servant to get up and get out of there. "Go tell Ahab to saddle up and haul ass down the mountain if he wants to escape the storm that's about to arrive."

Ahab hightails it in his chariot and heads to Jezreel where his wife lives. His wife's name is Jezebel, and she's the princess of Jezreel. She has adopted Baal as her god, and has convinced Ahab that Baal is the true god. When Ahab arrives, he tells her all about what Elijah has done, and how he massacred all the prophets of Baal back at Mount Carmel. She's pissed off about it, and reports back to Elijah through a messenger that "the gods are going to get you back, and I'm gonna get even."

Upon hearing this, Elijah runs for his life out of there. He heads toward Beersheba, but in order to get there, he's gotta travel through the desert for awhile. After a day's journey in the wasteland, he comes across a lone broom bush and collapses under its shade. He cries out to God, "Take me now! I'm done! I'm ready to join my ancestors in the grave!" He falls asleep, hoping to breathe his last breath.

The author writes that suddenly, an angel shakes him and wakes him up. The angel tells Elijah to get up and eat. Elijah looks around and finds that a loaf of bread is sitting on a bed of hot coals, freshly baked. A jug of water sits next to it. He eats all he can manage and falls back to sleep. Then, the angel wakes him up again, telling him the same thing. So, Elijah eats and drinks more. The angel says, "You've got a long journey ahead, take advantage of this food and rest."

Elijah gets enough nourishment from the simple feast to walk forty days and nights in the hot, arid, desert. He arrives at Mount Horeb, crawls into a cave, and passes out.

The author is writing about a man who is doing amazing things through the power of God, yet still ends up at the end of his rope. He ends up wanting to die. He's tired, hungry, and hopeless. He's ready to die. Fear surrounds him, and he doesn't have the strength to take on more step.

One of the risks of following God is, the bar continually gets raised. There's no middle ground. God either is or isn't. And sometimes, the voice of God sounds absurd and contradictory. Sometimes, the voice of God is the only voice that isn't telling us to give up and to give ourselves a break. Just when we think that we've arrived to a great stopping point, we find a whole new horizon ahead and the possibilities of even taking one more step seem unbearably difficult.

God wants to keep Elijah on his feet and moving, but Elijah's ready to die. Ever feel like this?

Trusting in a Higher Power is not about getting to a certain level and then managing it. When we think we've advanced to a higher level of trust, the bar gets raised. It seems impossible, which is exactly what trust is about. When we choose to trust completely in the God we can't see or touch, we're saying that we don't know what the future looks like, but we're ready to find out.


 

Ignite (Ordinary Time - Day 102)

1 Kings 18:20-40

In this passage, all the people of Israel, especially the prophets of Baal, are gathered at Mount Carmel. Elijah stands with the prophets and comes up with a plan. He addresses the people, "You've gotta get off the fence. If Baal is your god, then follow him. If the God of Israel is your God, then follow him. You can't have both."

He tells the prophets to pick one oxen out of the two that are standing there, butcher it, and lay it on the altar. But, they are not to ignite the offering. He tells them to ask Baal to ignite the altar. The prophets pray all morning long to no avail. They try every religious trick in the book to get the ox to catch on fire, but nothing happens. Elijah starts taunting them, saying, "Is Baal on vacation? Has he overslept?"

After the prophets get their turn at getting Baal to ignite the ox, Elijah steps up. He grabs his ox, butchers it, and lays it on the wood. To add to the suspense, he tells the people to fetch buckets of water and drench the wood, the ox, and the area around the altar three times. Everything is completely soaked in water.

Then Elijah prays, "God, make it known that you are the God of Israel, the true God, and that I am your servant. Make it known that I am doing what you ask me to so that these people can know you and have a chance to change their thinking about who you are."

Immediately, a fire falls down and ignites everything. It burns up the wood, the ox, the dirt, and the water that's sitting in the trench around the altar. When the people see this, they fall to their faces and start worshiping. They realize they've been following a scam, that Baal couldn't answer the prayers they were offering up. Baal couldn't come through. They needed evidence and they got it.

My friend and his wife have been taking care of a couple homeless guys. By night, they've been sleeping in a tent under a bridge, and by day my friends have been giving them meals and showers. One of the guys got bitten by a spider while he was sleeping one night, and my friend took him to the hospital. The bite had gone from bad to worse as the bite turned into a blistering, green, boil. He could barely walk or sit down without splintering pain shooting through his whole body.

The guy knew he needed to get the bite lanced, but he didn't have health insurance. The doctor at the ER simply gave him a prescription for antibiotics, knowing that he was losing money in the deal if he were to lance it. So, we picked him up from the hospital and went to get the prescription. Knowing that antibiotics weren't enough, we called our doctor friend and asked him what we should do. He told us that the boil needed to be lanced in order to evacuate all the poison and fluid. He offered to do it himself the next morning when he got home from work.

As we sat there thinking about what to do, my friend decided to try prayer. He wanted to see if prayer would heal the spider bite. I kind of laughed and told him the prayer was already answered. Our doctor friend already offered to lance the boil. But, my friend was convinced that prayer was just as valid of a solution.

When we got home, it was late. My friend took out his Bible and started reading passages that had to do with suffering and character. The homeless dude listened along and commented throughout the reading. Then, we huddled around and prayed. All three of us prayed in our own screwed up ways, asking God to heal the boil. My friend prayed that the fluid would leak out, and that the boil would go away. I thought back to a story I had read about a handicapped guy sitting beside a pool of water. I thought about Jesus coming up to the guy and telling him to get up. I didn't know what to expect, if anything. I had pretty much reached a conclusion that these kinds of prayers don't work. We spent about twenty minutes praying, then I had to go to sleep.

When I called my friend back a couple days later, I wanted to know if the boil had gone away. This is what he said, "Manny woke up that next day, and his shorts were all crusty. All the fluid had leaked out of the boil. He's walking around fine now, and the pain went away." I went to see for myself, and it was true. The homeless guy was moving around unscathed, pain free.

Do I think going to our doctor friend would have been a bad idea? Absolutely not. In fact, I was pretty sure that was the only solution. But, my friend had a different idea. Going to get the sore lanced would have been like Elijah igniting the altar. If they had gone to get it lanced, the homeless dude would have been able to give all the credit to the doctor's good judgment. Instead, we prayed. I was doubtful, but the reality was that the homeless guy was able to give credit where credit was due. I didn't heal him. My friend didn't heal him. The doctor didn't heal him.

Sometimes, we've gotta refrain from igniting the fire ourselves. There is a God waiting to reveal himself to us and the people around us, and we just need to stop trying to do all the work. Leave some variables unaccounted for. Drench the wood with water. Drench everything with water, and test God. See if God can and will engulf the altar with flames.
 

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Streams (Ordinary Time - Day 101)

1 Kings 18:1-19

Elijah senses in his spirit that God is about ready to make it rain on the country after three years of extreme drought. He also senses that he needs to meet Ahab face to face to deliver the message. King Ahab has carried out massive manhunts for Elijah ever since their last meeting three years ago, and would want nothing more than to have Elijah's head on a platter. After all the manhunts though, Elijah has disappeared and all the countries have sworn they haven't found him.

Obadiah - the officer in charge of running Ahab's palace - is out mapping out possible water sources, when he suddenly runs into Elijah on the road. He can't believe his eyes. He realizes that he's looking at the man who Ahab is after, and he's afraid that he's now an accomplice. Elijah tells Obadiah to go back and tell Ahab, "I found Elijah." Obadiah is freaking out because Ahab will kill him if he finds out that through all the massive manhunts, Elijah just pops up out of nowhere right in his own backyard. It would mean that Obadiah failed to accomplish the mission Ahab assigned him.

Elijah knows that it could be bad news for Obadiah, so he tells him to get Ahab to come out and meet him. They're going to have a face-to-face conversation. It's about to get ugly, because Ahab's built tons of shrines and temples to the god Baal, and he's about to hear a word from Elijah's God. There's about to be a collision of god-conceptions, a clash of truth.

Elijah senses that God wants him to confront Ahab about his wicked ways. Elijah steps up to the plate. However, Ahab is just as convinced that his gods want him to continue doing what he's doing. Who's right? Who's got the truth?

When we look at the world around us, and see things that just make us want to throw up, how do we come to the conclusion that the thing inside of us is God's voice telling us to speak truth into the matter? When we see people claiming to be followers of Jesus, and they're doing the opposite of what we think Jesus says to do, do we become Elijah's and confront them?

I'm tired and stuck this morning. This passage is gonna have to simmer in my mind for awhile. Maybe you can find the nugget of truth this morning and let me know.

Ravens (Ordinary Time - Day 100)

1 Kings 17:1-24

Today's story is about a guy named Elijah. The author writes that Elijah confronts the king and tells him a drought is coming. Not a drop of dew or rain will fall. The author writes that Elijah hears God tell him to get out of there fast and to go hide out at the Kereth ravine. So, he goes. In this ravine, there's a brook to drink water from. The author writes that the ravens provide Elijah with food. After awhile, the brook runs dry because of the drought.

So, Elijah senses that God tells him to go to Sidon, where there is a woman. This woman will provide him with food. So, he goes.

He shows up to the entrance of the city and runs into a woman getting water. Elijah asks her to bring him a jug of water, and while she's at it a biscuit. The woman replies, "All I have is a few ounces of dough and a bottle of oil. It's just enough for my son and I to eat a last meal before we die of hunger."

Elijah responds, "Don't worry about a thing. My God says that your flour won't run out and your oil won't be empty until rain falls on the land. Go ahead and feed yourself and your son, but first bring me a biscuit."

She does what Elijah says, and the author writes that the promise came true - the flour and oil didn't run out, but fed her and her son day after day after day. Then, a sickness comes to her son. He stops breathing. The lady confronts Elijah and says, "Why did you even come in the first place? You barged in, exposed my sins, then killed my son!"

Elijah had pity on the woman and her son, and took the son from his mother. He took the boy upstairs to loft he was staying at, and began to pray. He asked God, "Why have you brought this terrible thing on this woman who's opened her home to me? Why have you killed her son?"

Elijah laid the boy on the bed, and stretched himself over him. He prayed with all his might that God would bring breath back into the boy. After doing this several times, the boy's chest started moving. Breath entered back into his lungs. Elijah took the boy and presented him to his mother, saying, "Here's your son. He's alive!"

This is another story that I seriously doubt when it comes to literalism. I've never experienced birds feeding a human being, and I've never heard of anyone laying on top of a dead person, bringing them back to life. If I don't have the ability to find a principle - a nugget of truth - lying in the middle of the story then I need to close the book. I need to call it quits. However, there is a principle in here.

There is an undercurrent of contrast throughout this passage. We have drought and water, death and life, hunger and nourishment. Drought comes before the water is found. Death comes before life is found. Nourishment comes after hunger is established.

What seemed impossible at the time became possible. What seemed hopeless began to reveal rays of hope.

I've given up on life before. Alcohol sucked the life out of me after once promising to deliver. Somewhere down the line, I'd crossed a line between reality and delusion. There was nowhere to go except down, and down I went. I remember the miserable, sleepless nights, wondering if life could ever change at all. All I could see was the chaos in front of me. The snapshot showed a miserable, hopeless life. I couldn't see the panorama, but thank God somebody else could.

I had a friend who saw the things I couldn't see. She could see a future. She could see hope. She could see relief when I couldn't. She showed me where to go when I was ready to do something differently. Through God's grace, I found the strength to stop drinking and start working on the real problem - my selfishness and self-centeredness.

When I don't have someone in my life who can see the panorama, life can easily turn into a pile of problems to no end. Death will have the last word. Drought will be the common theme. Malnutrition will take over. I will only see the present snapshot of suffering and hopelessness.

Sometimes, it takes just one person to start opening a crack of light inside of my heart. That crack of light will expose another side to the story - a side of hope and possibility. The things that seem impossibly difficult start becoming possibly salvageable. Life starts seeping in one moment, one day, one month at a time.

Today's Action: Do we have someone in our life who's able to see more than just a "snapshot" of life? When we're suffering, do we have someone who's able to come down to the gutter with us but also knows that suffering is not the last word? Do we have someone in our life who sees hope when we can't, sees water when we see drought, and sees nourishment when we see starvation?

Rose

Erin drew a rose on the table.
I drew one next to it.
I cut a rose from the backyard.
I starting drawing it.

I have been reading the book of John.
=The King Of The Jews=
I've been reading Kings too.

I digitally edited the drawing.
It looks better that way.
Why not digitally edit?
Is that dishonest?

I went to the Toology concert alone.
I worked on the rose during the concert.
Rock on!

There is a darkness to John and Kings.
I must be reading it wrong.
While the sun sets, teaching my son how to kick a soccer ball...
It is beautiful.
Yet tiring.
But it isn't dark.
New life.
Corner stone.

I think I've slipped.
And want to slip further.
Into an abyss.
Why?

It feels good.
Uggh.
Wah.
Boo hoo.

Hiss.