"Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on A.A. unity."
I
was once in a small group that acted as a sort of guinea pig for a
church that was starting up. Our purpose was to serve the homeless, and
we would meet every week to talk about ways we could do so. We'd travel
to Galveston and Houston looking for people we could help, and we had
some pretty good success doing so. However, after about one year of
growing, the leaders of the group all of a sudden ran into some personal
difficulties. Sickness and finances became paramount in their lives,
and the group was like a flock of sheep without a shepherd.
All of us in the group had, I think, a common goal to immerse ourselves
in the service of helping others. We all had our struggles and our
quirks - our likes and our dislikes. However, when the couple who led
the group ran into difficulties in their personal lives, we found
ourselves scrambling, wondering what we would do next. I remember
meeting at Starbucks, and the purpose was to kill the group. Since we
had no leader, we had no purpose. That was the last night most of us
would see each other ever again.
When we enter into the fellowship of small groups, churches, or
non-profit organizations, we are entering for several reasons. If we are
honest with ourselves, we know that we are lacking in some area of our
lives, and are seeking a solution. We enter the small group with the
hope that we will grow in the areas we are lacking. Perhaps, the growth
takes time. Maybe it's sudden. Either way, we enter having a problem
that needs a solution.
It's been my experience that not all members of a small group or church
are realistic about their inward battles. Perhaps most of the members
are, and then there are one, two, or three leaders, pastors, or elders
who are given the reigns on being the "voices" of the group. They are
expected to live above reproach, to display themselves as flawless, and
to hide any serious doubt about their belief systems. When we have
leaders who are seen as being above our worldly problems, and being
removed from any of the serious pressures which we face every day, there
is a gap created. The gap represents the invisible abyss between those
of us who have serious problems, and those of us who don't. It is
because of this gap that groups like mine mentioned above die.
When any group or church places so much responsibility on one or a
few members, and then a problem arises with those members, it's like a
house of cards. The structure comes tumbling down. The members realize
they placed their dependence on a few and not the collective. Their is
fault to go all around. The individuals can take blame for depending on a
few people, and the leaders can take blame for not leveling out the
playing field when it comes to responsibility. It is for this reason
that "the groups common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends on group unity."
Unity
is the result of a group of people coming together, rallying around a
common problem, looking for a common solution. In this, there is no more
leadership than the collective leadership of the group. Since everyone
admits they are struggling in some area, everyone realizes that the
group itself becomes the avenue towards spiritual growth. There is no
need to create leadership positions, because no one has all the answers
to the problems. Equality and humility mix together to create a unified
group of people who are all seeking a solution.
Group Question:
- Does our group put the interests of any individual above the welfare of the group as a whole?
Personal Questions:
- Am I in my group a healing, mending, integrating person, or am I divisive? What about gossip and taking other members' inventories?
- Am I a peacemaker? Or do I, with pious preludes such as "just for the sake of discussion," plunge into argument?
- Am I gentle with those who rub me the wrong way, or am I abrasive?
- Do I make competitive remarks, such as comparing one group with another?
- Do I put down some activities as if I were superior for not participating?
- Am I informed about the group as a whole? Do I support, in every way I can, the group as a whole, or just the parts I understand and approve of?
- Am I as considerate of group members as I want them to be of me?
- Do I spout platitudes about love while indulging in and secretly justifying behavior that bristles with hostility?
- Do I go to enough group meetings to really keep in touch?
- Do I share with the group all of me, the bad and the good, accepting as well as giving the help of fellowship?
No comments:
Post a Comment