Song

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Every once in awhile, when I'm driving, I'll turn on my favorite CD. It's Babel by Mumford and Sons. There's something about this band that throws me into an ultimate awareness of something deeper than what my eyes can see.

I'm not sure why this particular CD does this to me, and why others don't, but just about every time I listen to it I get emotionally charged and feel like I'm being exposed to another dimension of existence. 

Cut away all the crap that's been built around Jesus's messages some 2,000 years ago. Get down to the basics. Take it out of context even, because that's what happens anyways every time you hear a sermon. Take it sentence by sentence. 

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Suspend your preconceived notions for just a second. Disregard all the voices that are telling you what this verse means, and what repent means, and what the kingdom of heaven means. 

Forget about all the theological studies you've done. Forget about what all of your pastors have told you about what this verse means. Cut away the chaff. Sit back, pause, and listen.

Maybe look out the nearest window. Think about your friends. Think about the people who you love. 

Ok, you there? You ready? Is your mind open? Good, we can start. 

Think of repentance as the thing that happens every time you turn on your favorite CD. What's your favorite band? What's your favorite song? What's that song that every time you turn on, you say to yourself, This is what it's all about.

When you hear that song, can you describe the state you're in as you listen? 

Now, hold onto that thought. 

When I listen to the song Hopeless Wanderer, I hear my story. I hear the story of how God has rescued me from the cold, dark woods and pulled me into the warm light of what Jesus called the kingdom of heaven. But, that kingdom isn't a visible kingdom but an inward reality. As Jesus and Tolstoy both said, The kingdom of heaven is within me. 

When Jesus said to repent, he was saying to turn on Mumford and Sons (or whatever it is that needs to be turned on right now, in this instance). What needs to be turned on? Is it a CD? Is it prayer? Is it a musical instrument? Is it a journal entry?

Repentance isn't about turning away from something as much as it is about turning something on. That something is the experience I have when I'm overcome with the realization that there's something more to this life than what my eyes can see. I just happen to be catapulted into this awareness via Babel. 

The kingdom of heaven is the realm, or the state of spiritual being, that I experience when I hear the words of the song. It's the experience I have when my emotions start welling up, and I get this deep sense that I have purpose. 

The challenge in repentance is learning how to take the experience with me when the song's done playing. It's hearing the song when the CD's not playing. It's experiencing the depth of the words when there's no music being played. 

So, the kingdom of heaven is about taking the song with me wherever I go. Even when the music's not playing. 

Jesus had an awareness of the rhythm that lay just beneath the surface of what his eyes could see. He had the song playing in his head, even though the music wasn't playing. And, he was inviting all of us to let the song play on.  

The reason I have such a hard time letting the song play is, I've cut my life up into pieces. I've let myself be convinced that certain parts of life are spiritual, and some are non-spiritual, or secular. And how easy it is to let this concept flood through everything in life and wash out everything that used to have a spiritual zing to it. 

Repentance is turning the song back on as this concept tries to win out. It's to bring the awareness of the kingdom of heaven back into work, or family, or playtime, or rest, or getting the to-do list done before 9:00. 

But how can I turn the song on when I don't hear the CD? Surely, if it was easy I'd be doing it like clockwork. It'd be muscle memory. It's a matter of opening my ears. Because, just as if I'm sitting in my car listening, once the music enters my ears, it does something inside me. It does something to my heart. And in turn, my eyes are opened to something that I didn't see before I started listening. 

My eyes are opened to the kingdom of heaven, and love is the king. I want to love. Never mind being loved or looking for love. I want to do the loving. The being loved part is taking place as soon as the music hits my ears. 

I have a friend who was riding with my wife and I one day, and I turned on the CD. All conversation stopped and I turned the volume up. After about thirty seconds, everyone in the car was having their own spiritual experience. My friend started tearing up, and I started contemplating what was important in life. We were all ushered into the kingdom of heaven for an instant as we drove down the road, looking at all the buildings, the fast food joints, the other vehicles, the streetlights. We were surrounded by such material and mundane things, but on the inside we had this deep awareness that we were sitting in the midst of the sacred. 

Life can get so fast that I can put the song on fast forward. Instead of letting the words gently enter my soul, they'll sound like the chipmunks. One thing about hearing the chipmunks is, I can't understand half of what they're singing. I need to slow down enough to be able to enjoy the song, and let the words determine the speed of life. If I'm not hearing the lyrics it probably means I'm going too fast. 

I can't even remember the last time I heard the lyrics. I get so freakin' busy and tired all the time that when I do have the chance to pick back up on the lyrics again, I'm moving onto the next thing on my list. All the potentially sacred moments turn into the sound of chipmunks and I start thinking about where I'm going instead of where I'm at. 

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. 

Most of us are about to go to work. It's a Monday. 

Work, if I look at it correctly (with the song playing in my heart and head), is just as spiritual as sitting under an upside down ocean of stars. How can I keep the song playing? How can I take the experience that song gives me? How can I carry it with me throughout the day? Into my interactions with other people? Into the monotony of the job?

It'll be different for me than it is for you, but that's the kingdom of heaven. It's being in a physical, material world but having the song playing. Because when I hear the song playing it means I've repented and I'm in the process of experiencing the kingdom of heaven.

Busyness is replaced with spiritual awareness.
Anxiety is replaced with love. 
Selfishness is replaced with compassion. 

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.