1 Kings 3:16-28
In
today's passage, there's two prostitutes. They show up before King
Solomon with a lawsuit. The first woman says that she had a baby. She
then claims that three days after she had her baby, the other woman gave
birth to a child. Unfortunately, the second woman accidentally rolled
over her baby in her sleep, suffocating it. So, the second woman decided
to swap babies in the middle of the night.
The next morning, the first woman awoke to feed her baby, and it wasn't hers. She was trying to feed a dead baby.
They went back and forth in front of the king, each claiming that the living baby was theirs.
Since no agreement or compromise could be found, the king told his servant to bring a sword. He said, "Since this baby isn't both of yours, take the sword and cut the baby in half."
The real mother of the baby was overcome with emotion at the thought of her son being chopped in two. So she exclaimed, "Please! Don't do this. Give the whole baby to her! Do not kill the baby!"
The king realized then who was telling the truth. The first woman was the real mother. He said, "Nobody's going to kill this baby. She is the real mother."
I have a hard time believing that this story is true, but the principle behind it is: If two people or two groups are at odds with each other, there needs to be an outside referee to find the truth. If there is
compromise or agreement without an objective viewpoint, then everything is good. But, if the two sides can't come to an agreement or compromise, how is the thinking that got them into the problem going to get them out of it?
With every altercation, there are three angles to the story. One angle comes from the plaintiff, one angle comes from the defendant, and the other angle is the truth. I don't know about you, but I hate it when I have to rely on an outside party to determine a solution between me and whoever I'm at odds against. But, if I am not willing to compromise something or look inside of myself to see why I'm so offended, then the three options I have are: run away, keep fighting, or get an objective person to speak into the situation.
The only reason the two women would have needed to go before the king is that neither of them could find a solution for themselves. They had to have outside help.
Running or fighting - or, fight or flee - are not adequate solutions when it comes to building relationships. These options keep me from taking a good, hard look within myself to see what's really going on. They keep me from asking myself how I contributed to the mess I find myself in. The problem is that running or fighting are inherently human characteristics. That's what we do. That's how we're wired.
The truth is that we need a third option that comes from thinking outside of ourselves - a spiritual option. We need a power greater than ourselves to give us the strength to see altercation to the end in a way that doesn't cause more harm to ourselves or the other party. An extremely challenging part of being in relationship is learning how to not get offended every time the other party does something we don't like. Then, it's learning how to resolve the conflict, and it can't be resolved by trying to get the other person to change their ways.
If I am offended by someone else, and that person is offended by me, and neither of us are willing to compromise, the solution is to find a third party objective view to speak into the matter and find a solution.
If I am offended by someone else, and look inside myself to see why, I have something to work with. I can seek out a third party viewpoint to find out what I can do differently, and change something to make sure that I don't keep getting offended and angry every time the person does what they do.
Today's Action: Is there an altercation painting our lives right now? Are we going to the grave with the idea that we can change the other person or party? Try taking a deep, hard look within ourselves to see why we are offended. Then, talk to someone about it, asking them to tell us what we can do differently to find peace.
The next morning, the first woman awoke to feed her baby, and it wasn't hers. She was trying to feed a dead baby.
They went back and forth in front of the king, each claiming that the living baby was theirs.
Since no agreement or compromise could be found, the king told his servant to bring a sword. He said, "Since this baby isn't both of yours, take the sword and cut the baby in half."
The real mother of the baby was overcome with emotion at the thought of her son being chopped in two. So she exclaimed, "Please! Don't do this. Give the whole baby to her! Do not kill the baby!"
The king realized then who was telling the truth. The first woman was the real mother. He said, "Nobody's going to kill this baby. She is the real mother."
I have a hard time believing that this story is true, but the principle behind it is: If two people or two groups are at odds with each other, there needs to be an outside referee to find the truth. If there is
compromise or agreement without an objective viewpoint, then everything is good. But, if the two sides can't come to an agreement or compromise, how is the thinking that got them into the problem going to get them out of it?
With every altercation, there are three angles to the story. One angle comes from the plaintiff, one angle comes from the defendant, and the other angle is the truth. I don't know about you, but I hate it when I have to rely on an outside party to determine a solution between me and whoever I'm at odds against. But, if I am not willing to compromise something or look inside of myself to see why I'm so offended, then the three options I have are: run away, keep fighting, or get an objective person to speak into the situation.
The only reason the two women would have needed to go before the king is that neither of them could find a solution for themselves. They had to have outside help.
Running or fighting - or, fight or flee - are not adequate solutions when it comes to building relationships. These options keep me from taking a good, hard look within myself to see what's really going on. They keep me from asking myself how I contributed to the mess I find myself in. The problem is that running or fighting are inherently human characteristics. That's what we do. That's how we're wired.
The truth is that we need a third option that comes from thinking outside of ourselves - a spiritual option. We need a power greater than ourselves to give us the strength to see altercation to the end in a way that doesn't cause more harm to ourselves or the other party. An extremely challenging part of being in relationship is learning how to not get offended every time the other party does something we don't like. Then, it's learning how to resolve the conflict, and it can't be resolved by trying to get the other person to change their ways.
If I am offended by someone else, and that person is offended by me, and neither of us are willing to compromise, the solution is to find a third party objective view to speak into the matter and find a solution.
If I am offended by someone else, and look inside myself to see why, I have something to work with. I can seek out a third party viewpoint to find out what I can do differently, and change something to make sure that I don't keep getting offended and angry every time the person does what they do.
Today's Action: Is there an altercation painting our lives right now? Are we going to the grave with the idea that we can change the other person or party? Try taking a deep, hard look within ourselves to see why we are offended. Then, talk to someone about it, asking them to tell us what we can do differently to find peace.
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