Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Here I Go.....

I posted this on my blog this morning.....


Ok so, it's 5:00AM and one of my little ones needed something! Ugh why couldn't it be 1:00AM?! Then I could have gone back to sleep but now I am awake so I guess I will troll onto Facebook and see if any of my exciting friends have been up and about while I slept. I stumbled upon a post that so resonated with me that I not only shared it on my own page but I posted a rant and began to unleash all that I have been feeling lately and quite honestly for years. Typing it all on my little phone made it seem longer than it was but I realized that it was turning in to a blog post. A post of things I need to say and have wanted to say for a while. So start by reading my little post and even the article that riled me up this early Tuesday morning and then meet up with me... 
 



Amy Franklinlink

7 minutes ago

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I always assume only my family and closest friends read this and know who I am but I feel the need to set this post up a bit for the off chance that someone else reads this. So, here I am 35 years old married to a perfect for me man and raising two children. I love Father God and His entire family (at least I think I do. I am certain about loving Father God and I am trying to love all His kids too.) I grew up in a typical spirit-filled church pastored by my parents in a small town in New England. I was a good church kid who had her problems but overall I didn't get into much trouble. I went to Bible College where I learned how to pastor and how to love people. You know, studied it in books and such. Then off we went, Rob and I, to serve in churches. We found ourselves feeling really out of place. Time and time again we felt like failures as we would leave a place after a short time but then we realized....we weren't failures we were just trying to wear a tacky Lycra suit that wasn't designed for us to wear. We found ourselves rejecting what church had become. All this talk about buildings and fundraisers and mission statements and growing bigger and council meetings and better sermons and bigger salaries and shinier faces and blah blah blah it had made us sick. Literally! I found myself so out of sorts that I believe it played a role in the depression I experienced when it all came to a head. SO we walked away from it.....ministry as a career.

Ok, so I shared all that because I want people to know that I am not some angry anti established church type crazy person. I grew up in the church and I tried to embrace it all- so much so that I chose a career in it. A career that I was willing to do for free at times because I so believed in it.

But today I say- ENOUGH! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! If I could scream this I would! ENOUGH!

Enough of ruining the image of Christ's Bride! We have prostituted ourselves out so much that I wonder if we even resemble the girl He fell in love with! With our fancy songs and our slick creative media driven teachings and our fun hyped up kid's programs trying to convince kids that Jesus is fun when really He is hard and messy and dirty (and full of LOVE). With our sign up sheets on ways to "serve" and our making it easy for people to feel comfortable and millions of wasted dollars on salaries and programs and buildings and garbage! Did we learn nothing from the early church?! At least we could have learned something from Schindler's List.....STUFF DOESN'T MATTER! PEOPLE DO!

If we want these things then fine but can we stop acting like they are in place to draw people in. They are in place for us! For our enjoyment and comfort. I take my kids to VBS and I let them have fun dancing to those songs and I hope somewhere in there they grabbed hold of a nugget of truth but if I leave it at that I would be wrong. That was fun and entertaining but I need to make sure they know that following Jesus is about going where it's uncomfortable and showing love. It's about dying to yourself and living unto Christ.

I believe this yet I struggle with my own choices. My desire to move into a house with a yard so I can have more space and time with my family as opposed to purposely living in close proximity with people so I can have a close up look at what people's needs are and be available to meet those needs. It's always going to be a struggle. Our comfort and our desires will always be there hollering and grabbing for our attention. I just pray that the church is a catalyst in helping us stay focused and holding us accountable on what really matters. Sadly, that's not the message I am hearing or seeing.

I want to be part of a group of people who study God's Word and spend time at His feet worshipping Him. A place that we come together to encourage each other and challenge each other to live out what we are reading. A group of people who say we need to make sure other people are experiencing this same love and freedom that we are and then partners together to do so. A group that pools their resources and gifts and touches the world around them without getting bogged down in the extras. To me, a building, a paid leader, sign up sheets and comfortable settings are not needed when you live this out.

[My little disclaimer: I am not personally attacking your church. I do not imagine to have it all together. I do not think church is bad, just broken. I do not think your church is not doing some good. These are my beliefs. I LOVE THE CHURCH- if we are talking about the church as being people not a place. I am not a trouble maker and I want people to like me, but this is my blog so it's my little corner in this world to express myself. Be nice.]
 




 
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3 comments:

  1. TuckAugust 14, 2013 at 3:05 PM

    Woohoo girl!! I'm feeling this. If I could give one suggestion it's this, live out what you're saying regardless of what other people say or do. This reminds me of an email I sent a few years back - http://jtmustlive.blogspot.com/2010/02/broken-legs-and-false-goodbyes.html

    We have to work with God to create what we want to see happen. Otherwise, we'll just keep expecting the Church, pastors, elders, Jesus followers, government, etc. to do what we want them to. This can be taken two ways: we can get pissed off about it and write comment cards and throw fits at business meetings, or we can accept it as a challenge and really press into our faith and go out on a limb to see the things we want to change really happen. It starts with us.

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  2. AmyAugust 14, 2013 at 3:35 PM

    I agree Jon, we do need to live this out and not just whine about it. It's why Rob and I quit our careers and walked away from everything we knew. I feel I have walked down this road before and one thing I have realized is that when you are in a system all the bitching and moaning and fighting and struggling will not change a thing. If the leadership wants it to go in one direction we are not going to change it. People have to want to change and want to do things differently because it's what they believe not because a group yelled loud enough. Especially when some of the leaders once believed and lived this out and no longer do so- they have made a choice. So, everyone has to do what they believe is right and what God is calling them to do but right now this feels like an old familiar organization that I am not sure I can stand to be apart of. (I still embrace Da Funk and believe we can live out God's plan for the Church.)

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  3. JodyAugust 14, 2013 at 4:02 PM

    Amy, you have a way w/ words. I share a lot of those feelings. I mentioned this @ our last MC last Thursday that Da Funk MC was the catalyst for changing my life. A change that I was searching for but didn't know how or what I was supposed to do. Now, I am in no way where I need to be, but I believe it is the path that god wants our family to follow. This is a life that has been seemless in our daily life and interactions w/ everyone we meet. In it's simplest form, I believe that is the way we are supposed to be a follower of christ by living our life the same in all avenues we travel during the day.

    Da Funk was an extension of ECL when we started as the mindset of the leadership in both was one in the same (as it appeared to me). As w/ all organizations, it will grow/change, but the core beliefs were what resonated and allowed me to change...it allowed me to be who I was but also allowed me to challenge who I was and what I believed. This was the most important thing that MC did for me. I could ask the questions I had always wanted to ask w/out any worry of judgement or retribution for those thoughts.

    I also realized that the life that I believe I am supposed to live may not always line up w/ Da Funk or ECL. In that thought, I felt comfort. I realized that god's mission was bigger than any church or mc box that we may way to surround ourselves w/. With that, I told the Raymers and my Amy that I would never have an issue stepping away from Da Funk or ECL...and that was two years ago. The work that I believe I am here to do is independent of those entities, but, for a time, those paths may run along the same trail. Our family's path has diverged from that trail now. While we will miss folks, we also are excited about this next step in our lives. In amongst the new work, schools, and living arrangements are the most important that I've been asking myself: where do I start serving up here? Well, we went to a church on Sunday. I couldn't determine if it was the right place for us from its website, so we had to experience. We'll keep doing that. Nothing will be perfect unless it is something we create for ourselves.

    That last sentence is where I also agree w/ Jon. I believe we are to do the work. I want to be active, whether that is planning or doing. Both are required and are exciting. Don't know where we will be, but we will serve while we figure things out. I think that is the important part. To serve is to follow what jesus commanded in his simple instruction: love one another; love others as you would love yourself. Nothing confusing in there.

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