Fugitive (Ordinary Time - Day 43)

1 Samuel 19:1-18

Saul gets his son Jonathan and all his servants together. He's ready to get a manhunt going for David, but Jonathan loves David. They're best friends, and he's not about to let his dad destroy his best friend.

So Jonathan finds David and tells him what's going on. He tells him to hide in a specific field the next morning, and him and his dad are gonna go for a walk in this field. Jon tells David that he's going to explain to his dad why David is innocent. He's gonna try to talk Saul out of killing David.

They go on the walk, and Jon eventually convinces Saul that David is innocent. Saul tells Jonathan that "as long as God lives, David lives." Jonathan reports back to David what Saul said, and they go back to Saul's home. What a terrifying experience that must have been - walking right back into the
lion's den. The author tells us that everything was as it was before.

War breaks out again with the Philistines, and David resumes his position as army officer. The Israelites put a pounding on the Philistines again, and they run for their lives. Around the same time, Saul gets another bout of the "black mood." As usual, David plays music for Saul as he sulks, trying to make him feel better. Saul sits with spear in hand, having recurring thoughts of how David is more popular than he is. He's revisiting the resentment he has toward David, and chunks the spear. He wants to skewer David, but David ducks and runs out of the house.

David goes back to his house, and tells his wife everything that's going on. She tells him to escape during the night. If he's there in the morning, he'll be dead. So, he escapes, and Michal puts a manikan in the bed with a goat's hair wig. Saul's servants come to search the house warrantlessly, but Michal tells the servants that David's sick.

The servants go back to Saul and tell him David's sick, and Saul's like, "you dumbasses! Go back and get David, bed and all, so I can kill him!" They return to David's house, and this time are on a search and seize mission. They find that David's not there, and a manikan has replaced him. They report back to Saul, and he's furious.

Saul calls his daughter, David's wife, into his home and asks her, "Why were you aiding and abetting the enemy?"

Michal turns on David and throws him under the bus, "He threatened me and told me that if I didn't help him escape he'd kill me."

Over the course of the night, David makes his way to Ramah to find Samuel. Samuel takes him in under the cover of night and they find a place of privacy.

I'm going to play the part of Saul today, because I play his part a lot - not to the extreme of trying to kill my friends - but in the extreme of letting my actions be controlled by their actions. Saul was dominated by David, and David didn't even know it. When I hold a resentment toward somebody, I'm letting them rent space in my head for free. If I let it go long enough without doing something about it, I will have thoughts of revenge and retaliation. In this story, David was innocent, but Saul still had a burning resentment.

The black mood sets when we let our resentment get to the point where we no longer see a child of God, but see an object worthy of death. Perhaps I try to run the show, and somebody else gets in the way. They're just doing what they think best, but my mind tells me that they're out to get me. I get angry. My show doesn't come off well. This happens at work all the time. I have an idea of how the job is supposed to play out, but somebody else has differing opinions. At some point, these opinions and ideals clash. I can either openly accept the other person's ideas, or try to stop them.

I have two options when this happens: I can surrender, or I can keep trying to push my agenda with the insane thought that this person is constantly trying to thwart my plans. If I let the insane idea win out, then I will have an explosion. My explosions usually look like mean-spirited arguments that consist of demeaning the other person and trying to make them look worse than they really are. By this time, emotions are completely controlling my behavior. But really, it's my supposed idea of the other person's agendas that are controlling me. I'm letting someone else's actions and ideas dominate the way that I live.

There is a way to be ourselves, without being so affected and controlled by other people's actions and ideas. Pray. Pray constantly. Pray "thy will be done, not mine." When our mindsets are about what God wants to do with us, and how we can contribute to that, we aren't concerned about what other people are doing and saying. We aren't so affected by what goes on around us. We're concerned with what God is doing in us and through us.

My mind constantly tells me that people are worse than they really are. When I see the flaws in other people, especially when it involves me, I rarely surrender to God's will. Today, I want to try to do a better job of centering around what God has me doing, and not what everybody else is doing. In this way, I believe I'll be a much better lover of myself, God, and the people I'm around.

Today's Action: Many times each day pray, "Thy will be done, not mine." Let it be a constant surrender, so that when our ideas and suggestions clash with others, we aren't affected by what other people say and do.