Why It Seems Impossibly Hard to Experience God

What tangible evidence is there of God or Jesus outside of the evidence that's found in my own desires to do something constructive in this world?

To be a great writer.
To be a great musician.
To seek justice for victims of sex trafficking.
To be available when someone around me is in need.
To be ready to serve when the homeless man is knocking on the car window.
To give a massage to my wife.
To play with my daughter.
To be a friend among friends, a worker among workers.

Without the constant fanning of the flames of my heart's deepest desires, I have no evidence. It all becomes this fantasy, this abstract cartoon flickering in my head. I can read, listen to lectures, watch inspiring documentaries, go to church, pray, and do so many other things to try and capture just a glimpse of this God I can't see, but it's all futile if I'm not tapping into those desires of my heart and pressing into them courageously.

The things that scare me the most are the things that I'm good at or at least passionate about. To do those things would require taking a leap of faith and not knowing what tomorrow may hold. Yet, they're the only tangible evidence I have of a Higher Being. Here's why.

By default, human beings take the road that's the easiest. The least amount of pain, discomfort, and hardship. And so, when it comes to time, our most valuable resource, we use it in a way that promises us the least resistance. It's part of our nature.

Just imagine, if you're living in ancient times. You're survival instincts are kicked on every second, and you know that you've gotta get out there and hunt, find supplies for the shelter, and get everything you need for the day before it gets dark. You know that once it gets dark, the predators start feeding. If you don't use your time wisely, you may just turn into a snack for a hungry lion. So, time is sacred and you have to make every second count so you can get home to the family before dark. 

So, we're wired to take the path of least resistance because it's an instinct for survival. 

Yet, hasn't this concept evolved at all?

I'm not living in a cave, and lions aren't waiting to eat me when the lights go off. I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't have to collect wood for the fire. 

In an age where everything is right at my fingertips, why am I still worried about taking a path that has resistance?

I'm convinced that it's only in taking the paths that my heart's deepest desires lead to, that I find the most resistance. I compromise adventure for monotony. I trade in joy for discontentment. I trade trust-in-God for trust-in-financial security. 

Just the notion that resistance is possibly on the horizon will keep me dead in my tracks for months and even years, settling for everything less than what my heart is calling me to do. 

So, what does it look like to trust God? It looks like taking any path that has resistance, and for me, the only paths that have resistance are the ones that collaborate with my deepest passions. It seems that God placed certain desires in my heart, knowing that if I chose to follow them, I'd have to get out of my comfort zone. And, when I'm out of my comfort zone, I have no one to turn to but God. 

Make sense?

The good thing about life is, I can hit the reset button any time I wish. I can start over. Or, I can tweak a few things. 

I've been having a real hard time with Jesus. My thoughts on the matter used to come so naturally and smoothly. It's hard to know what's true and what's false, what's real and what's not. But I imagine it's not making it any easier to discover the true meaning of following this Jesus if I'm not facing any resistance on the paths I'm on. 

Come to me, all who are weary.

Am I weary? Yes. I have been for quite some time.
Am I coming to Jesus? No. I've decided I don't even know what that means anymore.

How do you "come to Jesus" when Jesus doesn't have a cell phone or a Facebook account? How do you come to Jesus when you can't go to his house and have dinner? 

I guess prayer takes care of all that? Will I find the rest I need, the adventure I long for, the contentment I seek through prayer to this Jesus? Did Jesus mean to pray when he said this, or were these words for the people he was actually talking to? Has this been a verse that's been taken way out of context and applied to our human problems centuries later? Possibly.

But there's still this hole, this gaping void in the soul that knows the path of least resistance is not the right one. It's the easy one, but not the right one. I think all of us experience this at times, knowing deep inside the cores of our beings that we're being programmed for monotony and meaninglessness unless we change paths and step out into that gray area called the unknown. 

I vicariously imagine living this sort of life through film. I'll get lost in a story just so I can imagine I'm living adventurously, but when the movie's finished, it's back to the same old futility. 

I'm not saying there aren't good things going on. After all, I did get married not too long ago, and there's been one surprise after another. It's been a breath of fresh air. I feel like I have a partner, a friend, and a lover all in one. And, it takes away even more excuses of settling for less-than-best when it comes to following my passions. 

What does it look like to pursue dreams together? I don't know. We haven't tried yet. I dream big and sit in the recliner (like I am now). 

It all may look like this: If I want to find out more about the God and Jesus of the Bible, I may need to get on a different path - one that has a lot of resistance. One that doesn't have all the details lined out. One that doesn't guarantee anything except the sheer pleasure of knowing that it's not secure.

I know this has been very philosophical, but right now God and Jesus are philosophies. They're concepts to be talked about over coffee. They're not flesh and blood. I can't turn them on or off. I haven't been tapping into the only tangible evidence I have, so my spirituality has been mostly looking for profound things I can write about from the Bible. Pretty ridiculous. 

So, my prayer for me today (and you can join me if you'd like) is to take a baby step off the path of least resistance. And maybe my steps will turn to strides. And maybe my strides will turn to sprints. And maybe my discontentment will turn to joy. And maybe my doubt will turn to wholehearted belief. And maybe my skepticism will turn to trust. And maybe, I'll find God and Jesus both on the path of most resistance.