Signups (Ordinary Time - Day 58)

2 Samuel 3:22-39

David has just sent Abner away with his blessing, and shortly after, David's leading field officer shows up. His name is Joab. He's heard that his personal rival Abner was just in the dining room of the king, and nothing was done to keep him there. Joab can't believe that David just let him come into his own house, eat his food, and send him away scot-free. 

Joab confronts David and asks him, "Don't you know that Abner is up to no good? He's spying on you and trying to figure out what you're up to. How could you just let him slip out of here?"

Several years ago, there was a battle at Gibeon. Joab's brother was killed by Abner. Joab has been seeking revenge this whole time, and realizes that Abner was sitting in his own living room. So, he sends messengers to fetch Abner and bring him back. When Abner arrives, Joab steers him aside for a man-to-man. He slips out his knife and stabs Abner in the belly, killing him right then and there. When David hears about it, he laments the death of Abner. He calls him a "hero and a prince." David commands Joab and all his men to mourn the death of Abner and to lead the funeral procession with "loud lament." 

As the funeral procession proceeds, King David follows the coffin and wears his heart on his sleeve. He's overcome with emotion and all the people see that David is innocent of the crime. David says that the bloodguilt from this crime will stick with Joab and his family for the rest of their lives, and says that violence, famine, and bloodshed will follow them wherever they go.  

The part that sticks out to me is the context of battle. From what I've heard from my friend who's about to join the Navy, there is a training process that completely breaks the soldiers from carrying personal vendettas into military operations. That way, when a soldier's friend or family member is killed in battle, there is less of a chance that the reason to fight becomes personalized. 

Although I've never been in battle and don't ever plan to, there is a principle here that applies to other situations including the church.

When I joined the church, I never signed up for watching my gay friends be told they weren't welcome or that they were abominations. I never signed up for being sent home from a summer camp for having tobacco. I never signed up for the mess. I never signed up to be part of a mission to change the world, only to see the mission become changing the aesthetics of a building. 

As a result, I've retaliated over and over. I've sent angry emails to church pastors. I've inwardly and outwardly rebelled out of disgust for the Whore. I've wooed people away from the Church, thinking that it was more harmful to invite them inside. I've tried being the church wherever I am, thinking that maybe I can make something that's so messed up look a little more beautiful. I didn't sign up for a mess. 

However, the Church is a mess, just like war. There will be enemies. There will be battle right inside of the one place where harmony is the marquee slogan. There will be friends who are shunned, family members who are excommunicated, sins that will be condemned along with the sinners who live with them. There will be pastors who molest children, and there will be laymen who assault pastors. 

How could I have never known about how ugly the church really was before I signed up to be an active part of it? Would it have changed my mind? Would I have given it a second thought? 

When Joab signed up for the military, he didn't take into account the possibility that one of his brothers could die. After all, it was war. Because he didn't do this, he carried with him a seething vengeance that went outside of the boundaries of war. He carried a personal vendetta. Who wouldn't blame him though? The natural human tendency is to avenge the murder of a loved one. 

If I stay inside of my little box called Ecclesia Clear Lake, I don't see much of a mess. I see beauty. Of course I have my own little grievances, but overall I don't see the corruption. I don't see the disunity. I don't see the foul play. But, we are called to look at the bigger picture as well. When I look at the big picture - the Big Church - the picture changes. There is corruption on a grand scale. There is misleading information, brainwashing, and money laundering. If the problem can be thought of, chances are it is happening inside the Church. 

I've learned to not put the church on a pedestal. After all, it is a group of messy, screwed up, human beings. Why should I look at the church any different than I would look at, say, a political party or a corporation? Do I believe that Jesus is the head of the Church? Yes. But, do I believe that it is the responsibility of humans to be the light of the world? Absolutely.

In the broken system we call Church, signing up is becoming more and more like signing up for emotional and spiritual boot camp. We are going into battle, whether it be on an outward level or introspective level. My suggestion is, if you're not willing to see what it looks like when a pastor takes off without telling anybody, or what it looks like when the aim of the church goes from changing the world to changing aesthetics, then you're probably better off staying out or preparing yourself for battle. 

This is not how it's supposed to be, but it is. I've had to take sabbaticals from the church. I've had to re-think and remind myself why I ever signed up in the first place. I've had to grit my teeth, eat crow, and at some points be completely overrun with anger and frustration. 

Count the cost. If it's not worth it, it's okay. When I accept that hardship lies ahead, and that gross things are going to happen, I can remember why I'm still a part. Why? It's no different than anywhere else I am. Whether it's at work or play, my job remains the same. The mission doesn't change. I am to be salt and light. Where I am shouldn't be changing what I am doing. If I think the Church is a place where I can rest on my laurels and put my efforts on hold, then I'm only kidding myself and putting myself in line for another resentment and personal vendetta. But, when I see my part, my role in contributing light and salt, the Church and her people become no different than anyone else. There is no pedestal. When my friends get told that their lifestyles aren't conducive to the operations of the church, I can choose to bring salt and light into that. When the insiders become so inclusive that I wonder if there's even a world of people outside who are even interested anymore, I can bring salt and light into that. When I see on TV the next pastor bashing the lifestyles of anybody, I can bring salt and light into that. 

Today's Action: Whenever I see something that I didn't sign up for, think of a creative way to bring salt and light into it.

Giant sinkhole swallows nearly an acre of land overnight, Louisiana

Posted by Adonai on March 18, 2013 in categories Featured stories, Sinkholes

Officials monitoring the giant sinkhole in Louisiana reported that massive slurry burped on Sunday morning, March 17, 2013. Last "burp" event was reported on January 19, 2013.

Assumption Parish Office of Homeland Security & Emergency Preparedness Director John Boudreau said nearly an acre of land fell off into the west side of the sinkhole. 1 acre = 4 046.86 m²

More debris and hydrocarbon appeared at the surface, Boudreau added.

Assumpton Parish Blog reported yesterday that the Office of Conservation is advising the public that a large “burp” event is related to the recent period of elevated deep seismic activity around the failed Oxy 3 cavern and the sinkhole.

As has happened in past events, such as the period of elevated seismic activity that preceded the January 19th “burp” event, the recent period of elevated activity was observed for several days prior to a sinkhole event.

Though the deep subsurface activity appears to have calmed significantly, Conservation’s contracted experts continue to note shallower seismic activity likely related to slumping of the sinkhole sides and water movement in the sinkhole and immediately below it.

Monitoring is constantly ongoing in the area and Conservation will advise the public of significant changes in subsurface conditions.

More information can be found here http://assumptionla.wordpress.com/ and here http://lasinkhole.wordpress.com/.

The red line in the photo attached depicts the area of swampland that sloughed in when the “burp” in the sinkhole happened on March 17, 2013.

Let's remember:

Early in the morning on Friday, August 3, 2012, Assumption Parish Office of Homeland Security & Emergency Preparedness Director John Boudreaux was notified by local industry that a sinkhole had formed overnight in the swamp in the area. The hole was discovered after a strong diesel smell was experienced in the proximity of the sinkhole. On that same day, parish officials called for a mandatory evacuation of residents in the community and parish officials requested the assistance of state agencies in the activities involved in this emergency.

Source: http://thewatchers.adorraeli.com/2013/03/18/giant-sinkhole-swallows-nearly-an-acre-of-land-overnight-louisiana/

Vying for Power (Ordinary Time - Day 57)

2 Samuel 3:6-21

Even though Saul died, his kingdom is still at odds with David's kingdom. They are still at war, except this time David's not running. Saul's army commander is taking advantage of the war, and trying to gain power for himself. Meanwhile, he's sleeping with one of Saul's concubines Rizpah. 

Saul's son, Ish-Bashoth, confronts Abner about this and asks him, "What business do you have sleeping with my dad's wife you freak?"

Abner gets pissed and swears to Ish: "Have I not saved your life from the certain capture from David? Have I not saved your father's house? Am I a dog that you treat me like a child? For now on, I will help God accomplish what he promised David - to transfer the kingdom from Saul's house and help David become king over all of Israel. That includes your territory as well!"

Ish has no words. He's baffled at how manic Abner is about being confronted. 

Abner sends messengers to David saying, "Lets make a deal. Make me your campaign manager, and I'll bring all of Israel to your side. I'll get you votes and get you the nomination as king over all Israel."

David agrees to the deal on one condition - that Abner brings with him Michal, David's first wife and

Saul's daughter. David had won her when he killed Goliath, but she threw him under the bus when Saul was hunting him down. So, David sends messengers to Ish ordering the release of Michal, and Abner picks her up on the way to Hebron where David is staying.

David lays out a huge feast for Abner and his twenty men, and David appoints him as his campaign manager. It's time to start the campaign trail. Abner has work to do. He needs to convince the people who are under the rule of Saul's son that David is a better ruler. All the while, he's secretly trying to gain more and more power for himself.

As I work to start a missional community, I remember what it was like the last time I attempted this. I wanted to make a name for myself. I wanted people to think I was great. In fact, I got what I wanted. I got the affirmations I wanted, the praise, and the rewards. There was a war going on and I was trying to gain power for myself by creating a different way of doing things. People were tired of the way things were going with the church, and it was my job to create something that attracted the masses. While the masses never came, I was still focused on trying to make a name for myself.

I was a big shot spiritual leader. One of the things we did as a community was spend time at a foster home in Alvin. There were several kids we were hanging out with at the time, and I grew to really like one of them. While the adults were instructing him how to live his life, telling him to get a job and helping fill out applications, I would go behind their backs and tell him to disregard what they were telling him to do. I was trying to gain power with the people we were working with, and the only way to do that was to turn them against the rest of my group. 

I would say things like, "Don't listen to what they say. They assume they know what's best for you, but really they're trying to get you to assimilate to their way of living. That's no way to live dude. Be yourself. Do what you want to do and not what they tell you to do."

While I meant what I said, I was going behind the backs of my friends and sabotaging their ambitions. I didn't say a word to them. I acted like I was all in, but really I was acting against what they wanted to do.

My natural state is to gain power for myself. Unless I'm turning my agendas over to the care of God, I will backstab, gossip, and try to stump any plans that are threatening mine. Whether it's with work, relationships, or church, the desire to take over is constantly knocking at the door. I don't have to let it in though. 

In this story, Abner is secretly trying to build his own kingdom behind the backs of David and Ish. They are clueless to his alterior motives. However, he's playing the right cards. He's winning the approval of David by the day, and he's campaigning for an all out war. He wants David and Ish to kill each other so he can become king. 

With any new endeavor comes the quiet, conniving voice of power. It wants me to take control and make a name for myself. If I'm not intentional about constantly handing this over, and reminding myself that I own nothing but am merely a role player, then I resort to my natural state of the power grapple. 

Today's Action: For all the things that I have influence over in my life, turn them over all throughout the day by praying, "God, I surrender [blank] to you. You are my director, not the other way around. Thanks for letting me play a part in your plan."
 

Woo

Here is a link to what I mentioned yesterday evening.
Here's a link that discusses those three views.

Molds (Ordinary Time - Day 56)

2 Samuel 2:1-11

Saul is dead, and it's time for David to settle down in a city. He doesn't have to flee anymore from wilderness to wilderness. So, he prays. He asks God if he should move to a city in Judah. David feels like he gets a yes, and the yes points him to Hebron. That place sounds just as good as any. So David, along with his men and their families (remember there are around 500 men), and his two wives, all move into a town called Hebron. They settle all throughout the place. 

Over time, people from Judah start flocking to Hebron. They've heard that David is there, and they want to be as close to him as they can. There's something gravitational about the guy. Masses from Judah turn Hebron into a boomtown. The people of Judah decide to make David their king. They like what they see in the guy, and they decide he'd make a great leader. 

Meanwhile, David hears that some men in Jabesh Gilead gave Saul a decent burial. David wants to send them thanks, so he sends some messengers with a blessing. David says that he'll return the same goodness that these men have shown Saul by giving him a proper burial. David's also been informed that while Judah was making him their king, Saul's army commander was making Saul's son king over all the rest of Israel. 

Saul's son reigned for two years over Israel, and David ruled over Judah for seven and a half. The people love David and they're sticking with him. 

As I write this, the thing that's sticking out at me is the idea of kingship, or leadership. The author states that the people chose David to be their king. The other king, the one who ruled over all the rest of Israel, was chosen by Saul's army commander. We're not told what his reign was like, if it was tyrannical or benevolent, or a little of both. We're not told that he led well or poorly. We're just given two time frames. Saul's son - chosen by one man - led for two years. David - chosen by the people - led for seven and a half. We're also told the people stuck with David. He must have been doing something right. Unfortunately, we're given a time frame of nearly eight years in eleven verses. We don't know what happened in that time. 

However, we're given some insight into what good leadership looks like - the people stick with good leaders and they last. 

I want to start a revolution. Actually, it looks more like a simple gathering of people each week to share dinner together. But, I want it to be different. I want it to be profound. I want it to make people's heads turn and wonder, "Oh my gosh, I've never thought of doing things that way!" I'm working with a couple of close friends who I've gotten to know pretty well over the last six months, and all the ingredients are there. We've got willingness. We've got a place. We've got ambitions. 

The biggest battle in all of this is going to happen within me. My mind tells me this is my baby. This is my project, my revolution, my mission to change the world. My heart tells me this is God's work. This is God's baby, God's adventure. 

With every new commitment comes this innate desire to control the whole works - the process, the results, the content, the people, the activities, the food, the parking, the money, the life, the hearts, the minds . . . you get the point. It's understandable though, because the world I live in has systems and molds. The workplace has a mold that the employees fit into. The church has a mold that the congregation fits into. And, my [God's] little ragtag group of flounder giggers and gardeners are going to be no different. There' going to be some sort of mold that we have to flex our way into. 

And here's where I tie the story of David becoming king over Judah. The mold was created by the people, and not the king. The people created the mold, and they thought David fit into it pretty well. It's a scary thought. It's like what's going on with Michael Dell right now. He was the creator of the mold of Dell, yet over time he was bought out by stockholders and given the boot. Now, he's trying to fit back into the mold they've created and they don't think he fits very well. 

One of the biggest problems I see in the Church is it's more of an Abner mold than a Judah mold. What I mean by Abner mold is, one man sought out to make Saul's son king over all of Israel. He created a mold according to his subjective mind. The people had no choice to accept it or not. It just was. A lot of churches start by the meetings of a few people in a living room, yard, or coffee shop. In a sense, it's a David mold. The people make the decisions. But, over time the church grows. The few people meeting in the coffee shop become five hundred people meeting in an auditorium. The mold is still what it was in the coffee shop according to the few who had the vision. 

A problem arrives as the church expands. The vision of the few is no longer adequate to uphold the vision of the many. So, how does adequately reshape the mold to incorporate all the new voices into the original plan? 

I don't want to be in charge of anything. I want to step up, play my part, and contribute in whatever ways I can. But, I never want to be so close-minded that I think the mold doesn't need to change and evolve over time as new people with different ideas come into the mix. 

That's it.

Cartoon

Monica Butterfinger

Here is a copy of a post off my other blog:

We collected two caterpillars.  They both turned to chrysalises.  I worked yesterday with the chrysalis beside my monitor.  It was one of those days where I couldn't program fast enough to keep up with my brain.  I glanced at the little bug box and WHAM there was a big beautiful butterfly.  It was a crazy magic trick.  The butterfly had popped out without me noticing.  Kim took the monarch to her class and the class let it go.  The class named it "Monica Butterfinger".

I went walking and got to thinking about what life is.  I semi-decided, after much deliberation, that life, the most basic form, is a thing which has a sensor and "responder".  The responder can in some way change or change something given the sense.  Change implies time, but here "time" only means an ordered set of elements which point to different changes.  I suppose I need to say "organism" to clarify the difference between "the thing" and the attribute of life.  Anyhow, also, a sensor implies an environment of some sort.

If we agree on this, then we can begin asking about "intelligent life".  We can define that and find out if a venus fly trap is an intelligent life.  If we get the definitions straight we can also answer the question of whether an acorn is alive - or, if dead, when it "comes to life".  Again, the "when" is important because asking "when" something comes to life we have to be careful.  If time is an ordered set... is it continuous or discreet etc?

Now, to back up, although it does interest me to understand what life is, I'm just as interested (or maybe more interested) in how I answered the question.  I was also a bit astounded to find that wikipedia had just about the same conclusion.  Here is what wikipedia said, "Life is a characteristic that distinguishes objects that have signaling and self-sustaining processes from those that do not..."  My definition of life is a bit more general and maybe too general.  Anyhow, it was pretty close.  The point is that I have a way of categorizing and hierarchy building for defining what is what.

So, I grabbed an acorn and gave it to Kovi.  I asked him to think and not answer until later.  The question was, "Is the acorn alive?"  A few hours later he said, "Yes.  It's alive".  I haven't asked how he came to the conclusion, but  I'm curious to know and will ask later :)

----

And then a comment to myself:

I ran across this which is almost exactly the more "general" definition of what I was thinking about. That's pretty cool.

----

Latest interest (post-gigging conversation) is still on how we think about it.   When we pose a question like "What is life?", "Is God a universalist?"  You may see me dodging the question entirely, saying "Since God can do anything, can he make a rock that he can't lift?"  The answer may seem flippant.  I'll say, "Let's go gigging!".  Or maybe I'll throw the tautology "Let God be God".

But I might be on to something.  Here's a cut-n-paste:

In Aristotle, substances are to be clarified by stating their definition: a note expressing a larger class (the genus) followed by further notes expressing differences within the class. The substance so defined was a species. For example, the species, man, may be defined as an animal (genus) that is rational (difference). As the difference is potential within the genus; that is, an animal may or may not be rational, the difference is not identical to, and may be distinct from, the genus.

Applied to being (and here's where I'll add maybe life as we were talking about it) the system fails to arrive at a definition for the simple reason that no difference can be found. The species, the genus and the difference are all equally being: a being is a being that is being. The genus cannot be nothing because nothing is not a class of everything. The trivial solution that being is being added to nothing is only a tautology: being is being. There is no simpler intermediary between being and non-being that explains and classifies being.

So, maybe, that last paragraph could be re-stated as "if you want to think in the framework of hierarchy and classifications (something useful a lot of time), there's no bridge between life and not-life that can differentiate what is alive and what is not alive".

So we end up in this rabbit hole - a 500 foot pit in Louisiana!

However!  I can still say that my grandma did not make me breakfast. The flounder we caught is no longer responding to external stimuli.

The flounder we caught the first night was not the same one as we caught last night (weird, this seems profound... oooo ahhhh)

Sunday Morning Ted Talk: "Eve Ensler on Security"

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Ripped (Ordinary Time - Day 54)

2 Samuel 1:1-16

David has just routed the troop of Amalekites that his battalion went after, while the rest of the Israelites are being routed themselves. Unannounced, a young soldier shows up to the place where David and his men are staying.

The soldier falls to his knees and tells David he has news to report. Saul and Jonathan are dead. David presses him for details, and the young soldier tells him the story: "I was walking along and found Saul leaning on his sword. Saul looked behind him and saw me. Then he called me over and said, 'I'm nearly dead, but my life hangs on. Put me out of my misery. I'm an Amalekite.'"

So the young soldier did what Saul asked. He put him out of his misery. Then, he removed Saul's royal headband and bracelet, and brought them to David.

When David heard this news, he and his men went into a grieving fit. They ripped their clothes and cried all day long. After David came back to his senses a little bit, he asked the young man who he was anyway.

The man said, "I'm from an immigrant family - an Amalekite."

David asked him, "Were you not afraid to up and kill God's anointed king?"

David ordered one of his men to kill the guy. So, one of his soldiers struck him with the sword, and the young man died. David said, "You asked for it. You sealed your death sentence when you said you killed God's anointed king."

When we talk about David - the man after God's own heart - we talk about heroism, humility, and the good things. We tend to lose sight of other side of the story. In this story, David is a ragehead. He's ready to pounce on whoever goes against his wishes. When he went after Nabal, his journey was stopped by the efforts of Abigail. But this time, there's no such interference. David gets offended and reacts with murder.

This makes me ask the question, "If David was always seeking after God's own heart, then was God's own heart made of revenge?" Was David striking down this soldier who did what he was told an imitation of God's own heart?

Unless I prepare myself for the day, as I am right now, I'm liable to pounce on anybody who disagrees with me, offends me, or does anything that knocks me off balance. That's human nature. But, there's also this part of me that wants to do the opposite.

The way we seek God can't be generalized. In one moment, I'm affirming the people around me, and in the next moment I'm cutting them down to shreds. Human emotions mixed with divine spirituality make up for a journey that is raw, exciting, and nasty.

I would consider myself seeking after God's own heart, and here's what I did yesterday: I showed up later than any of my coworkers to work, even though I'm the manager; I skipped helping some dear friends move out of town because I wanted to sleep for two hours; I listened to a hurting friend; I stole some dessert from work; I prayed three times; I didn't clean the house like I wanted to; I got pissed at some folks for interfering with my schedule; I had a great conversation with some friends about intimacy; I invited a friend over to play video games until 4:00 in the morning; I skipped another opportunity to help my friends move, and this was the last chance to see them before they moved out of town.

When we talk about David being a man after God's own heart, we need look no further than ourselves. David was not this superhuman, flawless character who did all the right things and knew all the right answers. He was just like us. He sought peace and revenge. He sought God and himself. He sought love and hate.

Often times, we put ourselves and our faith lives so short of what they actually are when we read about the "heroes" of the Bible. Yet, we forget one thing. If the stories were all about how men and women did all the right things, and earned an A plus from God then I don't know about you, but I'm screwed.

I see a story about a God who is pulling characters forward in spite of themselves - a God who is letting the characters have a say in which direction they turn, but urging them forward nevertheless. Right in the middle of human emotion, human messiness, and human misunderstanding, there is a Power greater, working to pull humanity forward to redemption.

I believe in a God who isn't expecting me to do all the right things, but to do something. I believe in a God who loves me just the same, whether I'm holed up in my room with a computer screen full of tits and ass, or giving everything I have in my pocket to a friend who needs gas money. I believe in a God who is in the business of redemption and restoration, not revenge and punishment.

Crabbin'

I was at the beach last night.  Cooked most of the flounder fillets for these guys.  It was great.

I took a break and went by myself with the giggin' flashlight.  I turned around and there was a line of flashlights.

It was cool.

Dang, I just remembered - I have about four more fillets!

Witch (Ordinary Time - Day 52)

1 Samuel 28:3-20
Kings have a way of staying battle. Year after year, there's someone to fight, someone to conquer or be conquered by. In this case, it's the Philistines. This time up, Saul sees the Philistine troops and is scared to death.

He prays but hears nothing. He can't find the answer he's looking for in dreams, signs, or prophets. He's got nowhere to turn. Evidently, he's killed off all the mediums in the country my means of genocide.

He gathers his officials and asks them where he can find somebody to find direction from. His officials tell him about a witch in Erdon. The author lets us know that the witch is a woman, of course. Since Saul has killed off all the witches, he goes undercover by the dark of night to seek out this woman. When he shows up, he asks her to conjure up the spirit whose name he gives. She says, "Don't you know that Saul killed off all the mediums in the country? Are you trying to get me killed?"

Saul says, "Don't worry. You've got nothing to fear."

The woman says, "Ok. Who do you need to talk to?"

"Samuel," Saul says.

The woman does her magic and taps into the spirit of Samuel. As this is happening, the woman evidently sees Samuel. As she begins communicating with Samuel, she realizes that the man sitting across from her isn't some random person - but it's Saul. She cries, "You lied to me! You're Saul!"

Saul brushes off the accusation as if he hasn't just murdered every witch in the country and says, "What do you see?"

The woman sees an old man ascending from the underground, dressed in a priestly robe. Then, she starts interpreting for the spirit of Samuel and translating it to Saul. Saul tells the woman to ask Samuel, "The Philistines are ready to take over Israel. What do I do? God has deserted me and I

don't know what to do?"
This is what the woman says on behalf of Samuel: "Because you disobeyed God in not killing every man, woman, child, ox, and sheep in Amalek, God has turned away from you and has joined the side of your neighbor. He has done exactly what he said he would do - ripped the kingdom out of your hands and given it to your neighbor. Israel will be handed over, along with you, your sons, and your army, to the Philistines tomorrow. You and your sons will join me down here."

Saul falls to his knees in terror. He goes into shock when he hears the information from the medium.

Saul should have killed every man, woman, child, ox, and sheep in Amalek. Never mind that he took it upon himself to mass murder every witch in the country, but he left some people alive in Amalek. Something's not right here.

Did God really want Saul to kill every living thing in Amalek? Or, was this the grand idea of a prophet? Would God actually send someone to commit genocide, then punish them for not carrying the genocide out to a tee? The author sure thinks so.

Does God actually commission out hit men to murder masses of people? Yes, if you take the author's account without a grain of salt. Remember, we're reading about a world in which everything was attributed to the gods. War, peace, rain, drought, everything. It made perfect sense to the author to kill off the witches because they were against the thinking of the author. But, it made perfect sense to punish Saul for not carrying out God's instructions to the tee, by not murdering off those bad people. Redemption cannot be seen yet. No matter who it is in the story, everyone's account of God is screwed up.

The lens through which the author writes through is a lens of favoritism and wickedness. Some are chosen and some are not. But, that was the thinking of the time. You were either against God or not. If you were against God, you died at the hands of anointed kings. Redemption to the author looked like Israel remaining at the top of the food chain, not the bottom. Forget everyone who wasn't Israel because they were all wicked God-haters.

Angels In The Man Cave

Jon's all translucent and Durbin is all morpheus.

Gigging magnifier shown on bottom right  Radiator too.  Carol's sink.

Flounder not shown ;-)

Homicide (Ordinary Time - Day 51)

1 Samuel 25:23-44 
David is charging over the landscape, thirsty for the blood of Nabal. He's determined to avenge the insults that have been hurled at him. Out of nowhere, Abigail - Nabal's wife - intersects him on the road, the last valley separating David from his unsuspecting foe. Abi's donkey is loaded with gifts. As soon as she sees David, she jumps off the donkey, falls to her knees, and bows head to the ground.

She cries, "Please stop! Listen to me! I have something to say to you!"

David halts the four hundred men who are with him, all seeking revenge for the bad-mouthing Nabal.

Abi says, "Don't dwell on what that fool Nabal did! Foolishness oozes out of him. I wasn't there when it all went down, but if I was I can assure you it would have been different."

Then, Abi starts building David up, reminding him of his purpose. Not to mention, Abi is in the same posture that David was in before Saul - on her knees. I'm sure this simple posture stood out in David's mind as he listened.

Abi says, "You're trying to fight God's battles! You don't have to do this. God has a plan for you, and is developing you into a good and dependable leader. Your enemies will be tossed aside like a rock from a sling. Your God-honored life is bound in God-protected life. As long as you live, evil will not stick to you."

When Abi finishes speaking, David realizes that God has sent Abi to stop him in his tracks. God's kept David from avenging Nabal. He tells Abi, "God has sent you to keep me from wreaking havoc on your family and hurting you. If you wouldn't have come so quickly, Nabal would have been dead meat by the morning. Thank you for taking charge of telling me the truth and watching after me. Thank you for stepping in and being the voice of God for me. You will be remembered."

David accepts the gifts Abi gives him and his men, and they depart ways. When Abi gets back home, she finds Nabal hosting a huge banquet. He's belligerent, so Abi decides to wait until morning when he's sober to tell him the story. In the morning, she tells him every bit of it. After hearing, Nabal's so shocked at what could have happened to him that he has a heart attack. Ten days later, he dies. 

When David hears about this, he remembers Abi. He sends some servants out to Abi's place to pick her up. David's ready to marry her. Once again, Abi falls to her knees in reverence. She says, "I'll do anything you want. I'll even wash your feet. I'm ready for an adventure." 

Abi stepped into David's life and kept him from committing homicide. Even as good of a leader David was, he was flawed. He was ready to avenge Nabal. Without some outside help, he was going to commit murder. He was determined and focused. 

As good of a leader I think I am, I usually think my flaws are limited. They're next to nothing. I don't need people to step into my life to tell me where I'm about to commit spiritual or emotional suicide. I can just stay in my God zone and communicate that way. 

To break out of the box of not listening to other people speak the truth in my life, I have to get over myself. I have to be able to get stopped in my tracks and listen. I may have my mind made up, my plans in action, and dust rolling behind me. I'm well on my way to avenge whatever distractions and annoyances there are in the world around me. I seek revenge through writing. My actual life is built around revenge. The way I live is an outward sign of an inward rebellion against opposing views. As long as it stays in check, I'm good. 

Who am I listening to? Who is the voice of reason in my life? The truth is, I'm scared of everyone's advice but my own. I cringe at the thought that someone else may have a better idea, better course of action than I do. After all, I am the king right? I'm the king of my own fictitious world, where everyone and everything acts the way I order it. I'm the director, the principal, the owner . . . 

But for the grace of God, I have a different director. I can choose to listen. When I start living like a child and not a demanding parent, an agent and not the angry director, a friend and not a ruler, I can hear that voice of reason. I can stop in my tracks. I can listen. I can change my course of action. 

In this story, the right person stood in the way of David, and changed his mind. He was on his way to chaos, and she changed the course of history with a few simple words of affirmation. 

We're not the chaos-creating, avenging, rebellious fools we think we are sometimes. It's just hard to think otherwise when we're in the heat of emotional fire. We have purpose, and God is developing us. We're being formed and shaped into leaders who have the opportunity to change the world in ways we could never imagine. It doesn't mean we don't have flaws though. It doesn't mean that we don't get into our own heads and listen to the stupid emotions that tell us we need to pay back all those people who don't do what we want them to do. We need people with the voice of reason, who are willing to step in and tell us when we're about to commit homicide. 

There are people around us who represent the voice of God when we can only hear our own devils screaming. It's in those moments where our histories are on the brink of change. Sometimes these moments make or break us. Sometimes, we let the voices in our own heads, what I like to call the "shitty committee", rule our day. But, when they start to manifest into action, we've got to be able to hear the voices of God around us. What are they saying? 

Today's Action: Ask one person for advice today about something that seems insanely trivial in our own heads. Are we repulsed by the answer we receive, or are we open-minded enough to give it some good consideration?

Scamway (Ordinary Time - Day 50)

1 Samuel 25:1-22

David and his men make their way to the wilderness of Maon. They run into a bunch of shepherds out there, and David thinks, "I need to get back into the sheep business." So he develops a plan. He and his men will form a wall of protection around the shepherds while they're tending their sheep. This way, he can get in with the owner of the business, who happens to be very prosperous. 

Sheep equal gold. To have a lot of sheep is to have prosperity. David has a B.S. in sheepherding, so he devises a pyramid scheme. We've all heard the phrase, "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine."

David's under the assumption that if he takes care of these sheepherders, he can tap into the well of prosperity too. He can simply get in with the owner and get an investment for his future in kingship. 

David's plan doesn't work out that well. He sends his men to talk to the owner of the sheep. His name is Nabal, and he's very prosperous. He's also very mean. David sends them with this message, "Hey man. We're here on behalf of David, Jesse's son, and we just want you to know that we took care of your shepherds out in the wild. We didn't take advantage of them, and didn't bother them at all. We even formed a wall of protection around them while they were tending the sheep. How about sharing the feast, huh?"

Nabal's like, "You expect me to bring out bread, wine, and freshly butchered meat for a bunch of scrappers I've never even laid eyes on? Who is this son of Jesse anyways?"

David's men get out of there and head back to report what Nabal has told them. David's response is much different than in his interaction with Saul. Just a little while prior, David had the chance to somewhat justifiably kill Saul, and he knew him personally. David spent time with Saul, and Saul turned on him. Saul has been chasing him for months, and David's been revolving his whole life around not being murdered. Yet, he gets on his knees and shows compassion to Saul.

With Nabal, the story is a lot different. Enter the human condition. David expected Nabal to return the favor, and all he returned were insults. David's response is, "Grab your swords! I'll be damned if Nabal and everyone in his family aren't dead meat in the morning!"

Nabal's wife Abigail gets word from a young shephered about what Nabal said. She has to act quickly, so she loads some donkeys up with food and wine. David's on his way to wreak havoc on her family, so she decides to prevent the chaos by giving David what he wants. By the way, she doesn't tell her husband.

Is this not a story of the human condition? Do we not bless our enemies one day, then curse them the next? I was starting to think that David was flawless until this part of the story. He served Nabal based on the expectation of getting something he wanted. In A.A., we call this premeditated resentment.

When we serve people with the expectation that they should do something in return for us, we're setting ourselves up for battle. We're going to be resentful and ready to retaliate. Who's to blame Nabal in this one? David never established any motives with him, hell he never even met the guy. David's in the wrong on this one, and the unsung hero Abigail looks like she's going to save the day. 

It's nice when we give something and something is returned. It feels great. The challenge is giving without expecting anything in return, at least from the person we're giving to. When we give with the expectation of receiving something back, we're really just giving out loans. We're loaning our time, our money, and our stuff. We're constantly waiting on a return for our investment, and the anger that comes along with it is pure interest. Eventually, if we don't cancel the loan and turn it into a gift, we're ready to strap on our swords and demand payment. Isn't that how the I.R.S. works? Isn't that how debt collectors work? 

We are called to live differently. We have been given much. Have we been blessed with an abundance of loans, being expected to pay them back? Or, have we been blessed with an abundance of gifts? For those of us who are experiencing a life to the fullest, we have no business giving out loans to people. That's what David did, but he didn't even tell the person he was loaning to. He tried to connive Nabal into accepting his pyramid scheme and it didn't work. The reward in giving gifts and not loans is the understanding that nothing is our own. It's all a gift from God who loves us and lavishes us with abundant life. We have much to receive and much to offer. Say no to loans and yes to gifts. 

Today's Action: In what ways have we given loans out, expecting something in return? How can we turn these loans into gifts, cancelling the debt we've placed on someone's life?
 

Robe (Ordinary Time - Day 49)

1 Samuel 24:1-22

Who are my enemies? 

Evidence shows that my enemies are those who think counter to what I think. They believe things contrary to my belief systems. If you speak out against homosexuality, and call it sinful or wrong, you're my enemy. If you lump all the Muslims together in one bunch and call them terrorists, you're my enemy. If you claim to know where or what hell is and who's going there, you're my enemy. Yet, I look behind me and see that you're not chasing me. You're not hunting me down. You're in your own world, doing your own things, and minding your own business. 

I've created my own construct of what an enemy is, and it's futile. It's so far from the truth. If I want to see a real construct of what an enemy looks like, I need look no further than the relationship between Saul and David.

Saul is on the hunt for David again. He's got three companies of the best warriors in all of Israel. He's heard where David is hiding out, and he's closer than ever. As Saul and his men get closer, Saul spots a cave where he can take a crap. He climbs up to the cave, and doesn't have any clue that David and his men are hiding out in the same cave. David's men tell him, "Dude, can you believe this? This confirms what God said when he said, 'I'll deliver your enemies into your hands.'"

His men tell him to do whatever he wants. He has free reign to do whatever he wants with the helpless Saul. So, he decides to crawl up to Saul in the dark and tear off a piece of his robe. Immediately, David feels guilty. He crawls back to his men and says, "I shouldn't have so much as raised a finger against God's anointed."

These words held back his men as they wanted to pounce on Saul and tear him up. Instead, David held his men back and let Saul finish his business and head out. As Saul was on his way out, David stepped out of the cave and called out his name. He was holding the piece of robe up in the air, and he fell to his knees defenseless. 

He told Saul, "Why are you chasing me? You now see with your very own eyes that God put you right into my hands. My men wanted me to kill you, but I won't so much as lay a finger on God's anointed. What are you chasing? A dead dog? A flea? Why do you listen to the people who say that David is trying to overtake you? I have no intentions of even raising a finger against you. You're God's anointed!"

Saul starts weeping. He's overwhelmed by the fact that at his most vulnerable, David showed him mercy and forgiveness. He admits that he's been dumping evil all over David while David heaps goodness and compassion. 

Saul was a true enemy, the likes of which I've never experienced. If I'm honest with myself, there have been some people I've been pretty pissed off at, but it was nothing that I didn't help create in the first place. In this story, David is truly innocent. He's done nothing against Saul. Saul's jealousy of David has created the enemy construct. Saul has no right to call David his enemy, but David has all the right. If anyone was ever justified to kill, it was David. He's wrapped his whole life around escaping death from the hands of Saul, and finally has his chance to end it. But, what does he say? "I will leave the judgment in God's hands. It's God's job to avenge, not mine."

The author doesn't tell us that David curses Saul behind his back. The author doesn't tell us that Saul's anger fuels David. We're told that David knows he's innocent, and he sees through Saul's delirium and rage. He still manages to see Saul as anointed. Wow. 

I need to get rid of these constructs in my own life, separating me from my friends. I don't have any enemies. They're all in my head. I'm Saul. I'm jealous, threatened, and vulnerable. I get angry at people for all the wrong reasons. I spend hours, days, and months trying to chase down my ghosts, trying to prove that they're wrong, but when it comes down to it, all I'm doing is heaping evil. All the while, my "enemies" are shoveling goodness onto my head. 

My enemies are not really enemies at all. As long as I let my delirium tell me that this is an "us vs. them" kind of world, I'll always have a fight, a chase, a chance to conquer. 

As Saul is overwhelmed by David's compassion, he asks, "Who meets their enemy on the road and sends them away with a blessing?"

If I see the people who aren't chasing me, aren't hunting me down, and aren't threatening my life as enemies, how would I ever bless anyone who actually did unjustifiably hunt me down? I'm personally blown away by this story. I've heard it before, but never to the extent that I'm hearing it right now.

I've got a big problem that needs to be acknowledged. I still see the world through a lens of me vs. them. I still see a whole population of people as them. I still see certain religious people as them. I still see certain people as them. I want to see them as God's anointed.

Today's Action: Find out who them is, and bless them.

Sunday Morning Ted Talk: "Why the World Needs Wikileaks"

1 Samuel 23:7-18

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Asylum (Ordinary Time - Day 47)

1 Samuel 22:1-23

David escapes the tyranny King Saul, and makes his way to the cave of Adullan. His brothers and all who are associated with his family find him there and join him. Not only that, but all the down-and-outs in the area seek asylum with David there in the cave. The town drunks, the whores, the homeless - four hundred people who are at the end of their rope join David.

Knowing that Saul is doing anything he can to kill off David and his family, he petitions the king of Moab to grant asylum to his parents. They stay protected by the king until David is through hiding. Meanwhile, Saul is conducting court with his officials, trying to figure how to seek David out and destroy him. One of the officials standing there is Doeg the Edomite. Doeg was the one taking the religious vow in the temple while David was receiving food, guidance, and the sword of Goliath. 


None of Saul's officials are buying what he has to offer. They have inwardly turned against him and he knows it. None of them are willing to hand over any information about David's whereabouts, except Doeg. Doeg speaks up and tells Saul about his sighting of David and Ahimelech. Saul is furious. He orders his officials to retrieve Ahimelech and all eight-five priests who are in Nob. 

When they arrive, Saul puts Ahimelech on trial. He is his own judge and jury. He's a dictator. May I remind the audience that the people of Israel demanded a dictator, and they're getting what they asked for. Saul questions Ahimelech about why he didn't expose David's whereabouts at the time, and why he went even further and aided David in getting food, prayer, and weapons. 

Ahimelech says, "Do you think this was the only time I've ever prayed with David? Hardly! David is your most loyal and most honorable servant, not to mention that he's your son-in-law and captain of your personal bodyguard."

Ahimelech tells Saul he's done nothing wrong, and to leave him and his family alone. This sets Saul off. He orders his officials, "Kill them and every person in their families!"

The officials disobey orders. They aren't willing to follow the king's advice. So, Saul picks Doeg out of the crowd and tells him to do it. Doeg is more than willing. He's drank the Kool-Aid of the king, and will do whatever the king tells him to do. Doed leads the attack and slaughters all eight-five of the priests. Not only that, but he carries the slaughter into Nob, and commits genocide. He kills off all men, women, children, ox, sheep, and donkeys. He goes into Nob with the intention of leaving nothing alive. 

Two men escape though. One is the son of Ahimelech, and one is Ahimelech's brother - Abiathar. Abiathar retreats to the place where David is staying and reports what has happened. David invites him into the party of misfits and tells him not to be afraid. There is power in a group of helpless and hopeless people working together.

In this story, there are two sides. The two sides are lopsided, but on paper it looks like the power is on the side of Saul. Saul is using every means of bloodshed he can render to kill off anyone connected with David and his family. The author tells us though that Saul is running out of support. He's got Doeg the robot and that's it. 

Saul's own officials and the high priests have turned against Saul because he is asking them to compromise their belief systems. People are gravitating toward David because he is not a threat to them. He represents vulnerability. He represents meekness. He has no axes to grind or people to please, but is at the end of his own rope. There is power in a group of people who are at the end of their ropes. 

Saul and David both represent power, but they are two kinds of power. Saul's power is about gaining more, getting even, and becoming stronger by his own willpower. 

David's power is about seeking shelter with other people who are struggling. He knows that the kind of power Saul is displaying is not what he wants. He wants the kind of power found in powerlessness. Saul is promoting his own self-interest while David is seeking God's will. 

There are two types of power struggles that we all face in life. One is the struggle to gain more power, to gain more control, and to gain more respect. The other power struggle is reducing power, letting go of control, and not caring about respect. 

The characteristics of a person on the struggle to gain power are: seeking revenge, jealousy, feeling threatened by other people's success, reliance on self-importance, and seeing demotion as a threat. The characteristics of a person seeking to lose power are: seeking peace, interdependence, relying on the community, God, and self, and not just self.

Which power struggle are we in today? Are we going to any length to promote ourselves and gain more control of the world and people around us? Or, are we going to any length to reduce our power and loosen our desires to control the world and people around us?

What's SUP?

Went to look at stand-up paddle boards yesterday.  Been researching.















So far, I've been most impressed with Dean Watersports.  You might want to read this blog post.

Running (Ordinary Time - Day 46)

1 Samuel 21:1-15
There's this creek that runs through the town I used to live in. At one spot in the creek, there are water pipes that run across, and they're about thirty feet high. My friends and I used to climb up to the pipes using a rope we'd attached, shimmy our way to the middle section, and jump into the water. It was a blast, and jumping off these pipes became very popular when I was in high school.

One of these times as we were jumping, we heard the roar of a boat engine turning around the creek bend. None of us thought twice about it because it was normal to see boats racing through the creek. However, this was a different kind of boat. This boat came with flashing red and blue lights and a megaphone. It was the police! The officers pulled up to the swimmers and docked at shore, right where our cars were parked.

Everyone got out of the water except me. I was terrified. I had previous run-ins with the police, and I didn't want another one. So, I submerged in the water. Thoughts of Rambo started flooding my mind. A scene in which he used a reed as a snorkel flashed through my head, and I thought, "I can do this."

As everyone got back to shore, I secretly started making my way down the creek with only my eyes and the top of my head showing. I felt like a badass because my plan was working. I only needed to go about one hundred yards before the creek turned and I'd be out of sight from the officers. When I got around the bend, I rested and waited. Before I knew it, one of my friends came down the shoreline in front of me and told me the coast was clear. Mission accomplished!

Although my experience running from the police officers was very different and way less extreme, David found himself running for his life from an angry king. After he departed ways from his best friend Jonathan, he went to Saul's high priest. The priest went out to greet him, and asked, "Why are you by yourself? Where's all your men?"

David responded, "The king's sent me on a top secret mission. I can't tell anybody the details, but I'm supposed to meet my men at a certain place. Do you have any bread? My men and I are starving."

The priest said, "I don't have any regular bread, but I do have holy bread. Have you or your men touched a woman recently?" David told the priest that he, nor his imaginary men, hadn't had sex recently, so the priest gave David the bread. Then, David asked the priest if he had a sword or spear or anything like that. The priest told him he had one weapon in the temple, and it was the sword of Goliath - the one David had used to chop off his head.

David said, "Now that's a good sword. I'll take it!" Just as David was retrieving the sword, he noticed that opposite the temple was King Saul's chief shepherd taking a religious vow. David realized he was inches away from trouble, so he grabbed the sword and ran out of the temple. His life was now a game of inches and seconds.

He made his way to Gath, where King Achish was king. As he walked up to the city gates, the king's servants had out their binoculars, inspecting the traveler David. They said to each other, "Is this the famous David, the one we've heard about about killing ten thousand?"

As David walked into the city, the servants escorted him to the king. David realized they all recognized who he was, and he panicked. He was terrified of what the king might do to him. So, in the greatest ploy of all time, he acted like a crazy man. He started pounding his head on the city gate and foaming from the mouth. Spit dripped from his beard. He knew he had a target on his head, and probably a pretty good reward for his capture.

As the king watched David, he told his servants, "Can't you see this is a crazy man? I've got enough crazies to deal with. Get him out of here!"

David ran for his life. He's innocent, but has no way of proving it. No one knows he's innocent because the king's been trying to kill him in secret. No one's going to take the word of a former shepherd boy made army officer over the king's. The only way to find freedom from the tyranny of the ravenous king is to run for dear life from everyone connected with the king. That means David's got a lot of running ahead of him.